Ross Quote #1206
Ross: Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. I seem to have forgotten a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? Thank you. Okay, a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, Band-Aids, shaving cream, after shave. And I feel like I'm forgetting something. Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, we're still on that.
Monica: I didn't say your songs weren't good enough.
Phoebe: Well, then what's wrong with them? What, they don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: Tiny portions?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, "Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it."
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Okay, quick question. By a show of hands how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside?
Phoebe: Okay, okay. How many of you enjoyed the music outside?
Monica: All right, let me ask you this question. How many of you thought the music was fine but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant?
Phoebe: Okay, well, who identified this restaurant's tone as "pretentious-comma-garlicky"?
Monica: Okay, who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretension never hurt anyone?
Phoebe: Okay, well, all right, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll-taking?
Quote from The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
Ross: So without retesting their results in the laboratory, the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis. Were there any questions at this point? Yes?
Student: What's happening to your accent?
Ross: [in a British accent] Come again? What's this nonsense? [laughs] All right. I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous, and the accent just came out. I'm sorry. So if we could just get back to the lecture. Um, were there any questions? About paleontology? All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you'd just give me another chance to make a good impression-
Rachel: Ross. Are you crazy? I am still your wife? What, were you just never gonna tell me? What the hell is wrong with you? Ugh, I could just kill you!
Ross: [in a British accent] Well, 'ello, Rachel!
Quote from The One with Unagi
Ross: Danger! Danger!
Rachel: What the hell was that?
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi.
Phoebe: You're a freak!
Ross: Perhaps. Now, I'm curious. At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared.
Ross: I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I just want you guys to be safe.
[Monica opens the apartment door to take out the trash]
Ross: Danger! [Monica walks by unfazed] Ah, huh? Unagi.