Martin: Well, it's out of the question. You're gonna have to call him and cancel.
Daphne: But you said yourself he was fun to spend time with.
Martin: I said do time with.

Martin: I still don't think she should be going out with that guy.
Frasier: Oh, don't worry, she won't.
Martin: How do you know?
Frasier: Well, because she has too much respect for your opinion. She won't go against your wishes if I'm any judge of character.
Martin: Oh, dear God.

Frasier: Dad, you know, you could have gone home after lunch. I just brought you here because I thought you'd enjoy it. Now- Don't touch that! It's a very sophisticated piece of electronic equipment.
Martin: What is it?
Frasier: I have no idea. Roz told me never to touch it.

Martin: Now, listen Roz, don't feel bad. I was a cop for thirty years and they could still fake me out once in a while. These guys are professionals, they know what to do.
Frasier: Especially if you're an easy mark like Roz.
Martin: Hey, the criminal mind is more complex than you think. They can fool you.
Frasier: Oh, by all means, Dad, lecture me on the complexities of the human mind. Are you forgetting that I graduated with honors from Harvard in Psycho-social Behaviorism?
Martin: I know, I was at your graduation. Impressive bunch. A car backfired and half of them wet their gowns.
Frasier: Well, it sounded louder on the dais!

Martin: Oh, you think because of your book smarts, that you can spot a crook just like that, huh?
Frasier: Well if I can't, I'm in the wrong business.
Martin: You want to put your money where your mouth is?
Frasier: Well, what do you mean?
Martin: Well, I've got three people coming over for poker tonight. Two of them are cops, the third one's done time in jail. I'll bet you five bucks you can't tell which one's the ex-con.
Roz: Hey, can I get in on the action?
Frasier: Of course you can.
Roz: Great. Ten bucks on your dad.
Frasier: Oh, you're just itching to give your money away today, aren't you? All right, you're both on. But I think you're underestimating me. What truffles are to pigs, so are these charlatans and pettifoggers to my mental acuity.

Jimmy: Boy, you must do pretty well on that radio show of yours. What is this place, about two thousand square feet?
Frasier: About. Hmm, that's interesting, you noticed the space. Most people usually mention the view and the high ceilings, but you, you mentioned the space. It's almost as if you'd spent some time living in a cramped, confining, tight area.
Frank: So you've been to Jimmy's apartment, huh?

Martin: Oh hi, Daphne. This is Daphne Moon, these are my friends, Linda, Frank, Jimmy.
Frank: Daphne's a very pretty name. Do people call you Daffy for short?
Daphne: Not twice.

Daphne: Of course, I have to catch the little bugger first. Oh, maybe one of these would help.
Jimmy: Hey, beer's not good for dogs.
Daphne: No, but it's super for me.

Frasier: You know, we could really use some music. Anybody play the harmonica?

Martin: Sure you don't want to play, Fras?
Frasier: Oh, no, no, no, no. No, I'll just take this time to observe the triumvirate. I believe in my considerable education, my years of study and not to mention- Well, alright, let's say it, my God-given gift to intuit.
Frank: This is the kid who used to get his head flushed in the toilet, right?