Frasier: Hello. You're on the air with Dr. Frasier Crane. [reading a card] "Put your head in my hands." [tosses the card away]

Frasier: "Little owlet in the glen, I am ashamed of you, You are ungrammatical in speaking as you do, You should say, 'to whom, to whom,' not 'to who, to who.' Your little friend, Miss Katydid, may be green, 'tis true, But you never heard her say—" [turns around to see Roz] Who the hell are you?

Roz: Of course I could do a gardening show. If I can grow plants in my dorm room closet, I must know a thing or two about horticulture.

Frasier: Oh, Niles!
Niles: Oh, Frasier! What a serendipitous event. How did you discover my favorite coffee bar?
Frasier: Well, the radio station's right across the street. I did my first show today.
Niles: Yes, you did, didn't you? Well... good to see you, have a nice day!
Frasier: Niles, aren't you going to join me?
Niles: Oh, well, I would, but I have a routine. I come in every day, order coffee and spend some quality time with myself, you understand.
Frasier: Niles, I've seen you once in the last two years.
Niles: ... Oh, that is your point. Well, very well, in the spirit of blood being thicker than water, why don't we?

Frasier: Thanks again for dinner the other night with Maris. You two seem very happy.
Niles: Oh yes, it's love. Like the Arctic Puffin, we've mated for life. Honestly, I can't imagine even looking at another woman.
[As Niles gets up to grab a napkin from another table, Daphne comes to Frasier's table to ask for sugar]
Daphne: Excuse me, sir, have you finished with that sugar?
Frasier: Oh, yes.
[Niles returns to their table without seeing Daphne, but he takes a minute to sniff the air.]

Niles: Frasier, you're obviously making excuses. I'm going over tonight for my weekly visit, why don't you come along?
Frasier: Geez, I know I should, Niles. But I'm really in such a vulnerable state right now. The last thing I need is Seattle's reigning sourpuss taking potshots at me.
Niles: Is that what you're worried about?
Frasier: Yes!
Niles: Well, you have been out of touch. Our father's a changed man. Ever since he was shot, he's softened, with a whole new zest for life.
Frasier: Niles, I visited him in the hospital. He made his roommate cry, and the man was in a coma.

Niles: Dad was still in shock. The change came after. As a psychiatrist surely you've seen this? A patient has a brush with death and rediscovers his love of life. [chuckles] The laughs we've had when I'm over there. I sometimes wonder if that bullet didn't crease his funny bone.

Niles: Look, Dad, it's Frasier.
Martin: Well, I can see that. That punk didn't shoot out my eyeball.
Niles: [chuckling] Stop it! He sees the humor in everything.

[Frasier wakes up to Eddie staring at him]
Frasier: My darling, I would have thought that old fascination would wear off by now. [Eddie runs away after Frasier gives him a big kiss]

Daphne: You know, maybe if I try a little harder, it won't be that bad.
Frasier: Well, that's a good way of thinking. You know, things- Things can get better.
Martin: Hey, let's go. I got acid burning a hole in my stomach!
Frasier: Still... would you mind leaving those brochures of Acapulco out for me?