Daphne: Aren't you going to read the note?
Frasier: Thank you, Niles. "Frasier, I apologize for any trouble I've caused, and hope you'll forgive me." He must think I've got turnips growing out of my ears. He's after something.
Martin: Yeah, hide the pepper.

Niles: So, what did Lilith say? Has Blaine really lost the use of his legs?
Frasier: She says she doesn't know, but hopes so.

Blaine: Well, all right, I guess there's only one way I can prove this to you. Daphne, may I borrow that lovely pin you're wearing?
Daphne: Oh, um, let's see. Here you go.
Blaine: There you go, Fras, my man. Stick it anywhere you'd like.
Frasier: You'd have to get up for that.

Blaine: You want to know something, Frasier, you're almost right. You're almost right. It's true. I do want something from you. But what I want is for you to get down on your knees and pray with me. I know these words sound strange, but I've had a deeply religious conversion.
Daphne: Really?
Frasier: Oh, this just gets better and better.
Blaine: I guess it started with my car accident. I was driving drunk, which I had done one too many times. Oh, you know, it was a sign.
Daphne: From God?
Blaine: No, from the highway department. It said, "Lane Ends," and I just plowed right into it. The next thing I saw was a bright light and a tunnel.
Daphne: So you had a near-death experience?
Blaine: No, it was a CAT scan. You know, when Dr. Kagan told me I was paralyzed, well, I was devastated. There I was, at the lowest point a man can be... and He came to me.
Daphne: Dr. Kagan?
Blaine: No. Wwrong again, hon. It was God.
Daphne: Oh, damn.
Niles: Hang in there, sweetheart, you'll get one.

Blaine: And for all the times I lied and I cheated you. And for the time I posed as you and treated patients for a year.
Frasier: You what?
Blaine: It was only a couple people, I'd tell you who they were, but I've got that doctor-patient confidentiality thing. The point is, that part of my life is over, Frasier. I just- I don't know. I just want to give something back.
Frasier: Really? If you wanted to give something back, you'd be mopping a soup kitchen, or reading to bedridden vets, or traveling to the Galapagos Islands to clean oil off some poor sea fowl, then maybe you'd have some credibility.

Blaine: Yeah, you know, you're a godless bunch, but I love you.
Frasier: You know, even worse than the godless are those who would use God for their own gain. They are the true hypocrites, who should burn in the fiery hell for all eternity.
Blaine: Am I picking up a vibe here?
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think that was directed at you?

Frasier: He says, "the Lord will provide" the money. But we all know who that means, me!
Roz: You know, I always had a thing for evangelists. When I first started out, I worked at this station back in Wisconsin. There was this young preacher who had a show of his own on Sunday mornings. He spent hours trying to save my soul.
Frasier: And?
Roz: And it worked, and now I'm a nun. What do you think happened?

Frasier: I can't believe Daphne got snowed by that crook. Now, I've got to expose Blaine for the charlatan that he is. What was the name of that doctor he said treated him in Laughlin?
Niles: Uh, it was Kagan, if memory serves. Dr. Kagan.
Frasier: Shouldn't be too hard to find. [on the phone, speaking slowly] Laughlin, Nevada. Dr. Kagan. [to Niles] I'm being connected.
Niles: Frasier, you're sure you're not being a tad obsessive?
Frasier: Niles, this is about the truth. [on the phone] Yes, hello? Uh, yes, Dr. Kagan, please. Busy? Too busy to talk with Dr. Frasier Crane, from [in a Scandinavian accent] ze Nobel Prize Committee?

Frasier: Oh, dear God.
Roz: What?
Frasier: This number he left, it's local. The beast walks among us.

Blaine: I know I've given you so many reasons to mistrust me. But don't you believe that people can change?
Frasier: If I forgive you, will you leave and never return?
Blaine: Yes. I promise you, you'll never see my face in this house again, unless I'm invited.
Frasier: Very well. I grant you this boon, and I forgive you, now get out.
Daphne: Oh, Mr. Sternin, I hope you'll stay for dinner.
Blaine: Sounds like an invitation to me, Fras.