Frasier: Daphne. No more surprises.
Daphne: Oh, you mean like finding your father here when the apartment’s supposed to be empty?
Frasier: Well. You can blame that on the nog.

Niles: He could be an assassin in those slippers.

Daphne: Are you two going to switch the presents or are you going to stand around arguing about whose Christmas village is bigger?
Frasier: I knew it. You didn’t compliment mine, because you have one, too.
Niles: I didn’t compliment yours, because yours is so poorly laid out.

Frasier: So, how are you?
Niles: Well, tired and a little poorer. I had to bribe the maintenance man at Dad’s building to get him to stay late. Oh, which reminds me, on your next show, you have to give something called a “shout-out” to a Steve Gomez.

Martin: Ooh, heavy. This must be a good one unless it’s a book.
Daphne: But who’s covering the desk?
Martin: Nobody. She’s shut down tight till tomorrow. Now, I have just enough patience to wait for cocoa before I start tearing into these.
Niles: Um, Dad...?
Martin: Don’t tell me there’s no cocoa?

Daphne: Hello? Hello?!
Niles: You’d think there’d be a custodian or someone in there.
Martin: Ah, I knew it was a long shot. There won’t be anybody in till tomorrow morning.
Frasier: Sorry, Dad.
Martin: Oh, forget it. That was a really sweet gesture. Would’ve been terrific, but... I’ve already received my gift.
Frasier: You know. We could throw a brick through the glass, but they’re all wrapped up under our tree.