Martin: Where's Niles?
Frasier: He's out for a walk. Oh, I may as well tell you the whole thing. Maris is on board. She and Niles had a horrible fight, and their marriage is in worse shape than it's ever been before, and no need telling you how she got here in the first place!
Martin: I know, I know. What was I thinking, inviting her to come on the cruise?
Roz: You invited Maris?
Martin: Yeah. Well, Niles was so upset over being alone on his anniversary, it seemed like a good idea. Smart, huh? I give you all this guff about sticking your nose into other people's business, then I turn around and do the same damn thing.
Frasier: Oh, Dad, don't be too hard on yourself.
Roz: Frasier.
Frasier: Oh, all right. I invited Maris, too.
Martin: You did?
Frasier: Yeah.
Martin: I thought I told you to keep your big bazoo shut.
Frasier: Oh, you're one to talk!

Martin: Oh, better get going, we're gonna miss the first seating for dinner.
Frasier: But Dad, my lecture's in fifteen minutes.
Martin: Oh, geez. Well, guess I can't do everything. Tell me how it went at the midnight buffet.

Roz: Frasier, look.
Frasier: The Barracuda's calling card. That means that he's chosen Maris to be his-
Frasier & Roz: "Especial lady," eew!

Frasier: Oh, dear God. The shower is bigger than my entire cabin.

Martin: How the hell are we going to get out of here?
Frasier: I have no idea. But I've got three minutes before I have to be downstairs, or two hundred people
are going to be sorely disappointed.
Roz: Two hundred people? Where'd you hear that?
Frasier: They told me that was the room capacity. [Roz looks at Frasier] Oh. Oh, come on. Giggles had to add a show.

Roz: It's the Barracuda.
Martin: Who's the Barracuda?
Roz: He's a sleazy Latin lounge singer Maris is going to sleep with to get back at Niles for kissing Mimi.
Martin: Who's Mimi?
Frasier: A horny society boozer, and the Mrs. O'Leary's Cow of our current predicament.
Martin: Who's Mrs. O'Leary?
Frasier: A woman in Chicago who — Oh, later. I don't have the time.

Niles: Well, Maris and I ran into each other on deck, and we had a long talk, and, well, she invited me back here for a glass of champagne.
Martin: Oh, that's great, Niles.
Niles: Though it might mar the mood a bit if she finds you all spying on her! Did you use that mouthwash?
Frasier: No, Maris did.
Niles: My God, she's in the mood for more than champagne.