Frasier: Dear God! Have we lost our minds?
Nanette: Frasier, do you know how bored I am being "Nanny G." How trapped I feel...
Frasier: You have a wonderful career.
Nanette: But nothing ever changes. Do you have any idea what it's like to play the same character for twenty years?

Niles: Why do you have to make everything so difficult?
Frasier: Excuse me, Niles, but I’ve got news for you. Copernicus called, and you are not the center of the universe!

Frasier: Daphne, is that university library open all night?
Daphne: I think so, why do you ask?
Frasier: Oh, for God's sake. Do you think I'm going to let my little brother humiliate me tomorrow?
Martin: What are you talking about?
Frasier: Dad, he is smarter than I am. Niles will be sitting there rambling on to the geniuses about the cosmos, black holes, matter, antimatter, and I won't matter at all.

Frasier: I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, and this is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist.
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent.

Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.

Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.

Man: Here to pick up a chair.
Frasier: Right. It's right there.
Man: Sorry I'm late.
Frasier: It's all right.
Man: Been waiting long?
Frasier: Eleven years. Uh, be careful with it.

Frasier: Well, I just hope he hasn't done something foolish. Remember he was having brunch with Maris on Sunday.
Martin: Oh, that was just business.
Frasier: Well, you know, Dad, he is broken-hearted. People in his condition have a tendency to run back to their exes. A lonely man clinging to an available warm body. Well, of course in Maris's case, that's just an expression.

Frasier: Just read it. Scott Alexander, what's he been up to?
Daphne: Wife, kids, has his own computer software business.
Frasier: Nancy Kearns.
Daphne: Mother of three, successful physician, has invented a drug that may aid in the treatment of cancer.
Frasier: Ah, a cure for cancer. Won't they be green with envy when I trump them all with this little story of my life: Frasier Crane, unattached, unemployed and living with his father. He spends his days scrubbing his oven and is anxiously awaiting his upcoming tooth cleaning!

Niles: Other motorists are getting angry.
Frasier: If they weren't so shortsighted, they'd see that I'm doing this for their own good. It's like correcting people's grammar. I don't do it to be popular.