‘To Thine Old Self Be True’
Season 7, Episode 20 - Aired April 27, 2000
To prove he's not a stuffy fusspot, Frasier agrees to host a bachelor party for Donny.
Quote from Frasier
Martin: How did that happen?
Dinah: Lord of the Dance here decided I needed an encore.
Frasier: Well, I assumed you had the key.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Just relax.
Mel: Oh, this is all Maris's fault. You know, she actually called me and said she'd lay off if I stopped seeing him.
Daphne: What did you say?
Mel: Well, I hung up on her. How insane is this woman? She thinks I'd give up Niles to protect my practice? I'm crazy about him. The way he laughs. The way he gets that little glint in his eye when he's about to say something clever. But do you know why I love him the most? It's like there are all these things that he could be if he could just trust someone enough to help him unlock it all. And if I could be that person - you know, that safe person in his life - well, the more I know him, the more I know that's all I want to be. Daphne?
Quote from Niles
Niles: It's Maris. At least, I think it is. You need a bigger peep hole.
Frasier: What on earth is she doing here?
Niles: I have no idea, but we can't let her anywhere near Mel. Especially now that Maris has the weight advantage.
Quote from Frasier
Martin: My God! Have you seen Maris?
Frasier: Yes, Dad, I know. Did Niles calm her down?
Martin: Yeah, he took her to your room but he had to butter her up a little.
Frasier: I was afraid that narrow doorway might pose a problem.
Quote from Frasier
Regan: Frasier.
Frasier: Regan, hello. Uh, listen, sorry about this afternoon.
Regan: Oh, forget about that. It was no big deal. By the way I was
wondering if you'd be available to... [Regan drops all her groceries to the floor]
Frasier: Good Lord. [Regan starts picking things up, while Frasier remains by his door] No need to be embarrassed about that. You know, I do that sort of thing all the time. Say, you were saying?
Regan: Yeah. Just let me get all this cleaned up first.
[Frasier kicks a cabbage over to her]
Frasier: There you go. You know, I'd gladly have helped you. It's just that I've hurt my back you see. Oh, oh gosh, oh. Oh, it's seizing up again. You know, maybe it would be best if I just went back inside, crawled into bed. Good night.
Quote from Niles
Mel: Niles, where are you going with all that food?
Niles: Um. Dad is not feeling well, so I thought I'd bring him some comfort food. And, er, by the way, if anyone's going out, Dad specifically requested something called a chilupa.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Everyone, this is Dinah. You see this all happened because I was trying to prove that I'm a normal guy, capable of doing normal guy things like throw a bachelor party. And Daphne, Donny didn't know anything about it so I wish you'd just lighten up. Regan, I can't even imagine where this must put us. I guess it's time I just accept the fact that things will never work out between us. You are certainly not to blame. After today, I can't see that any woman would even want to go out with me.
Dinah: I think... I would.