Frasier: Wonderful texture. And these blues, so much sadness.
Susanna: Most people don't get that.
Frasier: Yes, and your elongated figures are actually reminiscent of Modigliani.
Susanna: That's interesting. I used to love Modigliani as a girl. Maybe I was subconsciously influenced by him.

Roz: Hey, guys. How's it going?
Frasier: She is crazy. That's how it's going.
Susanna: And for your information, Benjamin Locklear is as overrated as your ass!
Frasier: What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Roz: I have no idea. Have a nice weekend.

Martin: What's going on out here?
Frasier: I let Roz set me up on a blind date with one of her friends.
Martin: Ah, big waste of time, huh?
Frasier: Well, there's pie.
Martin: Homemade?
Frasier: Yeah.
Martin: Cherry?
Frasier: Key Lime.
Martin: I can live with that.

Martin: Well, you can't hit the ball unless you take a swing. Oh! Now, there's this gal in the building where I work-
Frasier: Dad. Dad. You're not proposing another blind date?
Martin: Now, she's a beautiful young lawyer and she couldn't be nicer.
Frasier: I am not interested.
Martin: Now, don't say that. You've got to see her.
Frasier: Dad.
Martin: Frasier, listen to me. [suggestively] You've got to see her!
Frasier: A young lawyer, you say?

Frasier: So my dad tells me that you're a lawyer.
Kris: Actually, I'm a legal secretary. But I'm planning to go to law school next fall.
Frasier: Oh. Well, that's admirable. Thank you. Of course, you know, paradoxically, you'll have to pass the bar if you expect to pass the bar.

Niles: But he says he's happy.
Daphne: Isn't that what you would have said too before your brother helped bring us together?
Niles: That's my point exactly. Let's start calling babes.

Daphne: What about Caroline? She'd get along great with your brother!
Niles: Is she the one missing a tooth?
Daphne: She had it replaced. That dental school did a good job, too. You can only tell it's fake under a black light.

Lisa: Oh, Andy. Can you get out spray paint?
Andy: How'd this happen?
Lisa: I was at the new Benjamin Locklear exhibit and this crazy woman came in and started ranting about how he'd ripped off her work. And then she started spray-painting everything. Actually, I don't know if I should clean it or hold onto it until after she dies. [Andy doesn't respond.] You know, because art increases in value after the artist...Think you can get this out?
Frasier: [returning] Excuse me, you only gave me three quarters and a nickel.

Frasier: Thanks. Um, say, uh, don't you have a coat? It's kind of cold outside.
Lisa: I just got spray paint on mine. I wanted to get it cleaned as soon as possible.
Frasier: Did you put seltzer on it?
Lisa: Of course.
Frasier: You know a lot of people mistakenly use...
Both: Lemon juice.
Lisa: Which never works.
Frasier: No. No, and it attracts bees.
Lisa: I did not know that.
Frasier: Well, I'm not exactly certain that it attracts bees. But, I mean, um, it does make sense, doesn't it?
Lisa: Not really, but you say it with such authority, I bought it.
Frasier: Oh... Say, uh, do you play pool?
Lisa: No.
Frasier: Neither do I. Hi, my name is Frasier.