Roz: Frasier knows pretty much everything there is to know about wine. Tell us some things about wine, Frasier!
Frasier: Sometimes you have to know when to put a cork in it.

Frasier: You know what. You're right. Maybe he did copy you. Maybe he got his inspiration one evening when he was out bowling a few frames.
Susanna: I do not need to be insulted by someone who buys art because it matches his bedspread.
Frasier: It's a duvet and you're delusional!
Susanna: Dilettante!
Frasier: Forger!
Susanna: Man who uses the word "duvet"!

Frasier: Oh, I have Book-Lover's Discount.
Clark: Ah, we don't accept that.
Frasier: Independent Booksellers?
Clark: No.
Frasier: Uh, Bibliophiles? Dewey Decimal Discount? Dust Jacket Gang?
Clark: I'm sorry. We do have our own card. It's $25.
Frasier: $25? For a little card?
Clark: You get 50% off all purchases.
Frasier: Very well. How much will I save today?
Clark: The discount starts with your next purchase.
Frasier: What? What kind of a Ponzi scheme are you operating here?

Daphne: Oh, Roz, sit down. I'm glad you're here. There's something we want to ask you. When Niles and I get married, it would make us very happy if you would serve as maid of honor.
Roz: Really? I'm so touched. I don't know what to say. Well, of course. Of course I'll do it.
Niles: And now set aside September 1st.
Roz: Oh, is that Labor Day weekend?
Niles: Yeah, is that a problem?
Roz: Well, there's this picnic that I always go to, and I make the potato salad. What am I saying? Your wedding is more important than potato salad or any salad.
Daphne: Then it's settled.
Roz: I'll make the potato salad the night before, and then I'll get someone... I'll figure it out.

Niles: Um, Frasier, Frasier. Um, Daphne had asked me to provide her with a reading list, you know to broaden her mind.
Frasier: Oh, that's admirable.
Niles: Yeah, and I was thinking of starting with Shakespeare. And, uh, you have such a grasp of his work, I was wondering if you could help me make a selection.
Frasier: Well, of course, although I'm a bit surprised. You always considered yourself the more well-versed.
Niles: Well-versed, yes, but you're the expert.
Frasier: I've waited since third grade to hear you say that.

Frasier: Here we are. Plato's Republic. Can't say I agree with everything in there, but it's a place to start.
Niles: Oh, there's a little tear in the cover. Would you get me another copy?
Frasier: Good heavens, Niles. What am I, your lackey?
Niles: No, no, no. I-I'm just engrossed in this "Heroes of Nahz-KAR."

Susanna: I don't usually travel with my portfolio, but she made me bring it.
Frasier: I'm glad she did. I actually fancy myself a bit of collector. I'd love to see it.
Susanna: Oh, all right, but be gentle.
Frasier: Of course. Oh, boy. Well that is interesting. It's quite remarkable, really.
Susanna: Thanks. The original's hanging over the shoe rental.

Frasier: I see you're also a fan of Benjamin Locklear.
Susanna: What?
Frasier: Benjamin Locklear. He has a show...
Susanna: I know who he is. His stuff isn't anything like mine.
Frasier: Well, maybe you haven't seen his latest work. You see, I was just in attendance at his most recent opening. I purchased a fantastic piece myself. Here, let me show you. Hmm?
Susanna: Oh, my God!
Frasier: Yes, it's magnificent, isn't it. You know, I'm thinking of putting it in my bedroom to set off the duvet.
Susanna: That hack ripped me off.
Frasier: That's quite an accusation.
Susanna: The guy is a thief. Everyone in the art community knows it.
Frasier: I consider myself a member of the art community. All I've heard is good things...
Susanna: Oh puh-leeze! The guy steals from lesser-known artists and markets himself to suckers with more money than taste!

Roz: I just know the two of you are going to hit it off.
Susanna: I thought you were always complaining he's such a tight-ass.
Roz: Not complaining, bragging, you know? That I work with someone whose got such a tight ass.

Roz: Is Frasier here? I need him to approve the latest version of his bio.
Niles: Why does he keep updating his bio? What's changed in the last few years. Oh, his date of birth. He's now four years younger than I am.