Kenny: Hey, hey, hey, you better save some room. Stefano goes crazy if you pass on his dessert. My mother found out that the hard way on her eightieth birthday. He went off on her. He called her a "skoonja-boonja" or something. The kids had it memorized for a while. Well, enjoy.

Daphne: So, how did it go with the doctor? Judging by that smile on your face I'm guessing your cholesterol's down.
Frasier: Well, after several weeks of watching my diet and taking my medication and race-walking every Tuesday, it hasn't budged. The good news is, though, that I've developed bursitis to help take my mind off of it.

Daphne: You're taking this all very cheerfully, Dr. Crane. [doorbell rings]
Frasier: Well, why shouldn't I? In many ways my life couldn't be better. I mean, by and large, I'm in good health. There is a promising new relationship on the horizon, the lovely Rachel. [opens door to Roz] My career is thriving.
Roz: Did you say thriving or diving?
Frasier: What?
Roz: Look at these ratings.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, that's nothing to worry about. For God's sakes, it's just leveling off.
Roz: Yeah, that's what tends to happen when you hit bottom.

Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello? Yes, hello, Niles. Oh, really? Oh, what a shame.
Martin: Told ya.
Frasier: No, that's all right. If your patient is having a crisis, you'd better address it before it turns into a crippling, immature, life-long problem.

Frasier: So, thank you, Stefano, for this honor.
Stefano: Thank you, for suggesting it. And now, I present, Il Dottore, Dr. Frasier Crane.

Martin: Frasier, it's a caricature, they exaggerate stuff. Now, if it were me, they would have drawn maybe a big crane. If it were Niles, they'd draw a barber cutting the hair off a giant sucker.

Niles: Well, I should be off too. Are we still on for dinner at Quelque Chose?
Frasier: Oh, yes, yes, of course, Niles.
Niles: You might want to call and confirm.
Frasier: Yes, yes, I'll make a mental note.
Niles: Well, be careful you don't lose it inside that giant puppet head of yours.

Frasier: Giant puppet head indeed!
Martin: Oh, let it go, Frasier. What are you going to do? Go down there and make him change it? Just accept it for the honor it is, that's all. [Frasier picks up the phone] You know, I don't get you, a doctor gives you bad news, you take it in stride, but one bad picture...
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Dad. [on the phone] Yes, I'm calling about a reservation tonight. For two, Crane. Well, what can I say? But I just love your food, Stefano. [to Martin] I'm in the mood for Italian!

Stefano: Dottore, dottore, how nice to see you again.
Frasier: Hello, Stefano, good to see you.
Stefano: And who's this gentleman? Looks familiar to me.
Frasier: Oh, this is my brother, Niles.
Stefano: Oh, of course. You have the family forehead.

Frasier: Well, there it is, "Frasier Cranium".
Niles: Well, it does have a certain under-nuanced, over-contoured, Macy's parade kind of quality.