Roz: I had no idea I let this milk expire.
Frasier: It's really all right, Roz.
Roz: [breaking down] I can't take this. Damn it, how could I let this happen?
Frasier: Are we still talking about the milk?
Roz: Don't you see? Milk is a staple. I let a staple go bad. Good mothers don't let staples go bad. How can I be
responsible for a child when I can't even keep fresh milk in the house? Kids need milk!
Frasier: Roz, if it helps, kids don't even drink milk for the first year.
Roz: Oh, see? I didn't even know that.

Frasier: I didn't know that either until I was a parent.
Roz: Don't you understand? I have to know everything. You can know half of everything. You can know about the milk, and Lilith can know about the booties and the snugglies—
Frasier: You never met Lilith, did you?

Roz: I don't even know where to start. Everything in my life is about to change. My body, my love life...
Frasier: Yes, but it's also going to change in fantastic ways. I remember the first night I brought Frederick home from the hospital. You put this tiny thing into a tiny little bed, and you look around and you realize that the entire house has changed.
Roz: I know. I want that. But, God, the responsibility...
Frasier: Well, yes. But it's all worth it. You get to share your life with a remarkable little creature who only lives in
the present, runs around naked without the slightest bit of shame, and can entertain himself for hours just staring at a shiny object. Isn't that wonderful?
Roz: Isn't that Bulldog?

Bulldog: Look, I was just kidding. I'm sure you probably know who the Dad is.
Roz: Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you remember Janet's party a couple months ago? You got really drunk and I drove you home?
Bulldog: Yeah. What about it?
Roz: Well, you invited me up, and I guess I'd had a few myself, because the next thing I knew-
Bulldog: Whoa, no, no, no. I don't believe this. I don't even remember us-
Roz: No, calm down, Bulldog.
Bulldog: No, come on, please, just tell me you're joking.
Roz: Look, we don't have to get married right away-
Bulldog: Oh, man! Oh, man!
Roz: I thought you'd be happy about this. I mean, we were wonderful together. When you made love to me, you were so tender and caring-
Bulldog: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! Ha, ha! "Tender and caring?" No way was that me. God, you almost had me. Good one, Roz.

Frasier: So, Dad, what brings you here?
Martin: Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some foundation garments.
Frasier: I think they call them "bras" now.
Martin: Not these, you don't. You could cross the River Kwai on one of those babies.

Frasier: Roz, I'm going to tell you something I didn't find out until I became a father. You don't just love your children. You fall in love with them. It's that same rush, that same overwhelming desire to see them, to hold them, and bore other people to tears with every detail about them.
Roz: Oh, my God. I'm gonna have a baby. Someone is gonna call out for "Mom" and it's gonna be me. I'm really scared. What if I can't do this by myself?
Frasier: But, Roz, you're not all by yourself. I'm here.
Roz: Oh, thank you, Frasier. [hugs him]
Frasier: And I'll be available for you in whatever way you wish, from taking you out to dinner tonight, to that moment in the delivery room when you say, "Welcome to the world little Jimmy," or "little Sally," or dare I hope "little Frasier?"
Roz: Oh my God, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Frasier: I guess I got a little carried away there.
Roz: No, I mean I'm gonna hurl!

Frasier: I tried to call.
Roz: I know. I wasn't answering. I was up all night thinking about what I want to do.
Frasier: Yes, I suppose a decision of that magnitude would take many sleepless-
Roz: I'm having the baby.
Frasier: -hours to make. Are you sure, Roz?
Roz: I know it seems quick. But even when I was hoping I wasn't pregnant, I knew if I was, I was keeping the baby.

Frasier: Oh, Roz, oh God, that's so wonderful. You're gonna make a great mom.
Roz: Well, I did the first part pretty well, and I wasn't even trying.

Bulldog: So, Roz, who's the proud papa? You got it narrowed down yet?
Roz: That's nice. Very nice. Frasier, would you excuse us?
Frasier: Yes, of course. Just remember the baby's future, Roz. Try to make it look like an accident.

[doorbell chimes]
Martin: Someone at the door!
Daphne: Really? So that's what that funny chiming sound means. I'm a little indisposed here, would you mind?
Martin: Oh sure, sorry, Daph. [shouting] Hang on, she's coming.
Daphne: You take it easy, rest up for that big trek to the dinner table.