Niles: Mr. Moon?
Mr. Moon: Who's asking?
Niles: My name is Niles Crane. I'm planning to marry your daughter.
Mr. Moon: You look okay to me. All right, you have my blessing.
Niles: Thank you, but actually, I'm here to reunite you with your wife.
[Harry's glass freezes as he gets ready to take a sip. The pub turns totally silent. Mr. Moon gets off the stool, turns around and throws Niles out of the pub.]
Niles: Oh, Mr. Moon. Mr. Moon.

Roz: And when I think about this trip to Wisconsin, I just dread going without Roger. My family thinks I'm a total loser as it is. Now I'm just going to prove them right. "Roz is a failure at love." "Roz can't find a man."
Frasier: They don't really say that, do they?
Roz: Oh, you haven't met my perfect sister, Denise. I mean, I love her and everything, but she's a total bitch.

Frasier: Happy birthday, Daphne.
Daphne: Oh, it's a journal. Oh, it's lovely. Thank you.
Martin: You don't need to say that for my benefit. I wanted to get you one of those robot dogs. You know, something you could really use.

Daphne: Oh, Roz, you didn't have to get me anything.
Roz: Don't be silly. Happy birthday.
[Daphne shows off the black teddy that Roz has bought her]
Daphne: Oh.
Niles: We love it.

Niles: This weekend. You and I are jetting off to Hawaii for a five-star Polynesian retreat.
Daphne: Oh, how exciting. Oh, thank you.
Niles: The first day, we are being taken by outrigger to an exclusive island for a private luau.
Roz: Roger and I were supposed to go back to Wisconsin this weekend for my family reunion.
Niles: Oh, that's lovely. ... And the second day, we're going to take a cruise to Molokai.
Roz: Of course, you can't go to Wisconsin without taking a couple of cheese tours.
Niles: [chuckling] Well, you sure can't, no. ... And then we're in Molokai, we're going to go snorkeling with the sea tortoise.
Roz: And then, the Dells. Roger really wanted to ride one of those big duck boats.

Frasier: It's not what it looks like.
Martin: I know that.
Frasier: Oh, what do you mean "you know that?" Shows what you know, it's exactly what it looks like.
Martin: Oh, I knew that.

Martin: Now, Frasier, don't get all worked up. When are you supposed to see her next?
Frasier: We're meeting for dinner tonight.
Martin: So everything's normal. You're going to feel weird and stupid for a while, and then you'll have a big laugh about it and move on.
Frasier: Yeah, you-you're probably right. I mean, we're adults. We can discuss this. We're going to be fine. Well, we'd better be. I told her I'd go to Wisconsin with her.
Martin: Wow, you really were lonely.

Daphne: I want to go on this trip as much as you do, but we can't leave Mum alone for a week right now. She seems unbalanced.
Niles: Well, well, maybe she could stay here with Frasier and Dad.
Frasier: Whoa! Whoa! What are we talking about?
Daphne: It's Mum again. She's been crying non-stop since we left here last night.
Martin: Sounds like a job for the prescription pad, Niles.

Martin: How's Roz?
Frasier: She's fleeing the city, thank you.
Martin: Oh, come on.
Frasier: She's going to Wisconsin without me. She's leaving immediately. I told you this was going to happen. Our friendship is in ruins.
Martin: Yeah.
Frasier: What do you mean, "yeah?"
Martin: Well, I kind of thought that might happen. I was just trying to make you feel better.

Martin: "I can't do my own laundry because I can't carry the basket and my cane at the same time." That's what I should have said.