Frasier: This is your fault. You're the one who brought him here.
Martin: What's the big deal? If you were paying a ton of money to stay in some country inn, you'd be loving the sound of crickets.
Frasier: Yes, well, I love a babbling brook too, but it doesn't mean I want one surging through my condo.

Daphne: You know, couples come home, they talk about their day. Why don't you ever want to share?
Niles: Well, I-I... suppose I'm not used to it. Maris always needed silence to cope with her chronic migraines, Mel couldn't talk because she'd be wearing the moulds from her teeth bleaching kit.

Frasier: Gosh, even though I am savoring the newfound silence, I, uh, sort of miss the excitement of the hunt.
Martin: Yeah, well, all right.
Frasier: You know, Dad... Were you aware that the male cricket chirps in order to attract the female cricket?
Martin: Wow... and that cricket was doing an awful lot of chirping.
Frasier: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Martin: There might be another cricket.
Frasier: There might be more than one. I'd hate to go to bed and then have to get up again.
Martin: Probably we should just play it safe.
Frasier: Release the gecko.
Martin: Yes!

Daphne: Look, I know you're angry, but Niles, please, say something.
Niles: Angry doesn't begin to describe it.
Daphne: Niles.
Niles: You have violated this person's privacy. If she found out, I- They could suspend my license.
Daphne: I am so sorry.
Niles: And you don't trust me. How could you possibly think there could be somebody else?
Daphne: Because I was somebody else.
Niles: What?
Daphne: You were married to two other women while you claimed to be in love with me. Now that we're together how can I be sure, really sure, that there won't ever be another "somebody else"?
Niles: Because I would never... Because this time it's different. Our love is different. It's not based on somebody's expectations or-or anything I'm supposed to be. When I was with Maris, or with Mel, I found myself thinking about you. Going about my day or even when I was in a session, I found myself thinking about you. Well, now we're together. I find myself thinking about you. It's not going to stop. [they hug] I'm still mad at you.
Daphne: I know.

Frasier: It's asleep, Dad.
Martin: No, it's not.
Frasier: Really, he hasn't twitched his tail for two minutes.
Martin: That's because he's lulling him into a false sense of security. The most dangerous part of a gecko is its mind.
Frasier: What are you talking about? A gecko's brain is, like, this big.
Martin: Yeah, but a cricket's brain is only this big.

Niles: Dinner is almost ready. Shall I set you a place or would it make you feel better to go out and shoot your own eggplant?

Frasier: Dad, sorry to hear your trip was a bust.
Martin: Oh, it's all right, it wasn't so bad. You know, the worst day of hunting still beats the best day of working.
Frasier: You don't work either.
Martin: You don't think it's work talking to you? Duke, on the other hand, is a lot of fun. You know he can fit twenty-seven marshmallows into his mouth at one time.

Daphne: So how did she tell you? Did she come on to you? Did she try and kiss you?
Niles: I can't tell you.
Daphne: All right. I understand. Your little secret. Just blink, once for yes and twice for no.

Frasier: Everybody freeze! Don't-move-a-muscle. [Frasier stomps his foot] Well, I hope that cricket saw what I just did to this toasted almond.

Frasier: Oh, hi, Daph.
Daphne: Dr. Crane. Oh, that scone looks good.
Frasier: Yes, well, it's all right. They call it "Nervosa Berry," but I'm convinced it's just yesterday's banana. I have half a mind to have a discussion with someone about it.
Daphne: You should.