Martin: Whoa, there he goes!
Niles: Dad, Santa's back.
Martin: Yeah. It's the darndest thing, every year when I take him out of the box, something's wrong with it. But I always manage to fix him again.
Niles: Oh, good for you, Dad. [to Frasier] I told you to dunk it underwater.
Frasier: I did.

Frasier: Oh, Gil, Merry Christmas.
Gil: And to you, Frasier.
Frasier: Oh, thank you.
Gil: I hope you've saved room for dessert.
Frasier: Have you been baking?
Gil: I have! Gingerbread men.
Frasier: Oh, my. And don't they look... muscular!
Gil: Yes, well, the wife and I made a New Year's Resolution. Deb and I have joined a gym to slim down and buff up. We made these to inspire us.
Frasier: Ah, yes. Nothing strengthens a dieter's resolve like a good motivational pastry.
Gil: Precisely. The problem is they're so delicious, I've already had three. [picks one up] This is my last little man, I promise. Mmm. Oh, Gil, who are you kidding?
Frasier: [to himself] No one, Gil.

Frasier: Where are they going?
Roz: I've got bad news for you. That feud you were having with the guy upstairs? It isn't over. He's having his own party.
Frasier: Damn him! He's siphoning off my guests.

Martin: I don't know whether that's a good idea, Fras.
Frasier: What?
Martin: Well, "Winston Party 2000" sounds like the party of the future. "Crane Party 1901" sounds like... well, this.

Frasier: My God, there must be a hundred people up there. Well, I'll just show you what you're missing! Savory lamb tenders! Pesto-filled mushroom caps! Smell 'em and weep!

Niles: That was Mel.
Frasier: And?
Niles: I managed to explain about Yoshi. She's on her way over.
Frasier: Oh, thank God.
Niles: I know.
Frasier: Another guest! ... Oh, it's also wonderful for you, Niles. Congratulations.

Frasier: People will go almost anywhere for free food and booze. Am I really so insufferable?
Roz: I could call up the station and see if people want to come over.
Frasier: Oh, yes, Roz, let's call in the second string guests. Let's fill my home with a bunch of angry, snubbed co-workers. ... Do you think they'd come?

Roz: So, how'd it go? Did you tell him?
Daphne: Never got the chance. He went first. Turns out he'd just given me the wrong gift and wanted it back.
Roz: You're kidding. You must be so relieved.
Daphne: [chuckling] Oh, I'll say. I've never been so relieved in my life.

Frasier: Niles, what do you think? Should we start with the caroling or should we hold off until we've played a spirited game of "The Minister's Cat?"
Niles: Start with the game. Then the caroling. Then perhaps the guests will be ready for another game.
Martin: Yeah, Russian Roulette.

Roz: I can't stay, I just stopped by to drop off your punch bowl.
Frasier: Well, thank you, Roz. Say, what kind of punch did you serve?
Roz: Well, first I filled it with ice. Then I just poured orange juice and vodka over it.
Frasier: Well, Roz, that's just a giant screwdriver.
Roz: Yeah. So? What am I, Martha Stewart?