Bulldog: Okay, what sorry bastard would steal a pacifier from a kid? This stinks! This is total B.S.! This is- Oh, found it. Found it.

Martin: Right up here on the left. I've got the whole service mapped out. It'll start with a bagpiper marching down the aisle...
Daphne: Bagpipes? I'm having bagpipes at my wedding, you knew that.
Martin: And none of that dainty finger food, either. Big slabs of beef. Prime rib.
Daphne: You can't have prime rib, I'm having prime rib.
Martin: Oh, for Pete's sake.
Daphne: No, no, this is lovely. If you kick off before I get married, you'll ruin everything.
Martin: All right, all right, I'll drop the bagpipes.
Daphne: No, no, have the bagpipes. And what else are you going to have? A big cake with a little white coffin on the top.
Martin: Oh, put a sock in it, will ya?
Daphne: It wouldn't surprise me if you had a hearst with "Just Buried" on the side of it.

Martin: Yeah, so do you really like this place?
Frasier: Yes, Dad.
Martin: Good. Fras, take about three steps over to your left, will you? Keep going. Keep going. There you are. Niles, stand right next to him. Yeah? Congratulations, you are standing on your very own graves.
Niles: What?!
Martin: Yes. Well, tthey were for sale so I went ahead and bought them. And after seeing how much you like it out here, I'm glad I did.
Niles: Oh, but, Dad...
Martin: I know what you're gonna say, the expense. But don't worry about it. Merry Christmas!

Bulldog: What the hell are you doing here?
Ted: I know, I'm sorry.
Bulldog: You are supposed to be gone. How many of my own fingers do I have to dislocate before you take me seriously?

Roz: Wait. There's a scented candle out on the balcony, would you get that for me?
Bulldog: I'm kinda naked here.
Roz: It's cedar wood. It promotes stamina and sexual creativity.
Bulldog: I'll be right back.
[Bulldog goes out on the balcony. Roz locks the door behind him]
Bulldog: Roz, open the door. Oh, I get it. [knocks] Pizza man!
Roz: You slime bag! You've been scaring off my dates all week.
Bulldog: I don't know what you're talking about.
Roz: Cut the crap. I just saw you talking to Ted. This is the lowest thing you've ever done. After the way I've trusted you, this is the way I treat you.
Bulldog: Would you let me in, please?
Roz: No.
Bulldog: It's freezing out here, as you can plainly see!
Roz: Good, I want you to suffer. ... Uh. Don't sit there, I eat off that table, for God's sake!

Bulldog: You can't blame a guy for trying. I had you going, huh? All the dishes and the laundry.
Roz: You're the master.
Bulldog: Oh, I even put childproof latches on the cabinet. You know, part of my plan to get you in the sack.
Roz: You are such a pig!

Roz: You are not gonna believe what just happened. Bulldog just told me he loved me.
Frasier: What?
Roz: Yeah, he made Ted bring me home early. Turns out he's been scaring my dates off all week.
Frasier: Well, what did you say to him?
Roz: I tried to let him down easy. I felt sorry for the guy.
Frasier: Bulldog. Wow, he's full of surprises, isn't he?
Roz: Who'd have thought? You know what's really weird? I'm gonna miss him. Look at this. I never had to worry about Alice. He kept this place so neat and it was really nice to have someone to... Someone to come home to.
Frasier: Well, maybe Bulldog, in his own clumsy way, gave you a taste of a more traditional lifestyle.
Roz: Yes, I suppose so.
Frasier: Who knows, Roz? Maybe the time has come. You might be willing to start looking for a...
Roz: What? A husband?
Frasier: No, I wasn't going to say that.
Roz: Just because I'm gonna miss certain things about Bulldog doesn't mean I need to rush out and get married. I mean, look at this week I've had. Three guys interested in me and not to mention Bulldog. I'm liking this. Single life is pretty good.