Martin: I'll put your mom's ashes over there on the left, because that was her side of the bed. And, uh, oh, see how close we are to the maintenance shed.
Niles: And that's good because?
Martin: You're the first one to get mowed.

Roz: Ow. I guess I'm a little tense from that date. [Bulldog starts massaging Roz's neck, with his elbow so he doesn't hurt his dislocated fingers] I forgot how good you were at this. Come to think of it, you were good at a lot of things. [Roz unbuttons her blouse]
Bulldog: Wow. "Victoria's Secrets," page 39.
Roz: Why don't we just skip dinner and go straight to dessert?
Bulldog: Oh, whoa. "Penthouse Forum," page 23.

Roz: Are you the new pizza man? I hope you're not double parked.
Bulldog: I promise you, ma'am. I will deliver in thirty minutes or more.

Niles: Just look at the dapper gent I ran into on the elevator.
Martin: All right, Niles, that's enough. Yes, I like the suit you got me.
Niles: All right. Well, tell me about the comments. Did everybody there ooh and aah?
Martin: Nope, people were pretty much looking at the guy in the casket.

Frasier: So, Dad, how was the funeral?
Martin: Oh, it was terrible. It's not at all the way Stan would have wanted it. They did everything on the cheap. And that daughter of his, she didn't even get the good priest. She got some rookie from the seminary who stumbled all through the eulogy and couldn't even pronounce "Wojadubakowski".

Frasier: Dad, you know, I'm sorry about your friend's funeral not going so well. Rest assured, when the time comes, years from now, Niles and I will follow your wishes to the letter.
Martin: Thank you.
Niles: By the way, Dad, what are your wishes?
Martin: Never mind, I'm not going to go planning my own funeral, it's bad luck.
Frasier: But, Dad...
Martin: Ah, ah, ah. You don't pull the cord on the bus until you're ready to get off. [exits]
Niles: Pull the what on the what?
Frasier: I don't know.

Niles: I'm surprised. I didn't know Dad had such a bugaboo about his funeral arrangements.
Frasier: Yeah, I know. It's a painful subject, but we've got to plan for it. We all must be prepared when the cold hand of death comes knocking on our door.
[a knock on the door]
Frasier: Would you get that?
Niles: I most certainly will not.

Niles: There you are, and something extra for you.
Bulldog: Whoa, that's a pretty generous tip.
Niles: I'll say. Wrong bill.

Roz: Bulldog?
Bulldog: Hello, Roz.
Roz: Are you delivering pizzas?
Bulldog: Yeah, yeah, this is kinda awkward, huh?
Roz: Oh, no, don't be embarrassed. A job's a job.
Bulldog: No, I mean awkward for you. This is the first time you've seen me since we had that fling and I dumped ya.
Roz: I dumped you, pizza boy.

Bulldog: Hey, look who's here. Hey, sweet pea, you are getting so big. Hey, look at that smile, she likes me.
Roz: She's relieved not to be the least mature person in the room anymore.
Bulldog: Who's got a mean old mommy?