Glinka: Stunning couple, aren't they?
Niles: I'm more stunned by them each day.

Daphne: Don't you worry at all that Alistair might be falling for you?
Frasier: Oh, please, the man has not even made a move on me. And do you know why? Because we are friends. Famous, fabulous friends.

Niles: Oh, uh, Alistair. Congratulations, it was a stunning production.
Alistair: Well, thank you, Niles.
Daphne: It must be awfully hard work putting on an opera.
Alistair: It is utterly draining. In fact, when I'm in rehearsals, I devote every ounce of strength to it. No exercising, no jogging, I even abstain from sex. Well, you can ask Frasier here. My poor, dear, patient Frasier.

Alistair: Frasier, do you have any idea how sexy you look in that tux?
Frasier: Yes, I do. Alistair, I'm afraid I may have given you the wrong impression about myself.
Alistair: You seem nervous. Don't be. And I want to thank you for waiting.
Frasier: Oh no, the waiting was good. I enjoyed the waiting.
Alistair: Oh, me too! How it sharpens the appetite. How it builds! The intensity, the heat, the desire! Can you feel it?
Frasier: Oh yes, there it is!

Frasier: Alistair, um, listen, I-I, I'm afraid I have to tell you something. I'm not gay.
Alistair: Oh, Frasier, please don't tell me you're still struggling with those issues.
Frasier: Well, I-I like you so much, and I love our friendship. I'm afraid I can never be more than friends.
Alistair: Would three weeks on Capri in Bertolucci's villa change your mind?
Frasier: [pause] It's worth a try.

Frasier: I'm so sorry.
Alistair: So am I. Could I ask a small favor of you?
Frasier: Of course, anything.
Alistair: Would you mind staying tonight until my other guests have gone? I'd hate my friends to think I've been jilted.
Frasier: Of course.
Alistair: It won't be very late. Around about 3:00 it's down to the core crowd, and we'll all relax and unwind.
Servant: It's after midnight, sir. Shall I fire up the hot tub?
Alistair: Absolutely.
Frasier: I'm afraid I don't have a bathing suit.
Alistair: Then you'll fit right in.

Frasier: Oh, Dad. You care for a coffee?
Martin: Nah. I can see where you might think I would, though. A guy walks into a coffee bar, he can't blame people for thinking he likes coffee.
Frasier: Yes, Dad.
Martin: Course, uh, if he didn't like it, he could make that clear to people. He might say, "I am not a coffee drinker" or "I have never tried coffee even once."
Frasier: Yes, all right, Dad.
Martin: "I am not even curious about..."
Frasier: Yes, all right!

Frasier: Go ahead, let's hear it.
Niles: I'm not going to tease you. I'm grateful. You could have ratted me out to Daphne, but instead, you protected me... just like a big sister should.
Frasier: You know, I'm glad this tickles you.
Niles: I shouldn't make fun. You people have been persecuted long enough as it is.

Frasier: Are you done?
Niles: I'm done.
Frasier: I will return those shorts to you tomorrow.
Niles: No, keep them. You'll want them for the parade. I'm done. Now I'm done.

Niles: Did you see that? I would kill to go to that party. I was at that gay bar too, you know.
Martin: Let's see. One of my sons just got picked up by a guy. My other son is jealous. Yep, life is good.