Frasier: You can rationalize your actions all you want to, Kevin, but the truth is, you're just not being honest, are you?
Kevin: "I guess I'm not, but it's not like you're so honest about everything in your life."
Frasier: I beg your pardon?
Kevin: "Well, you've never told your audience you're gay."
Frasier: Excuse me?
Kevin: "I saw you in a gay bar last night."
Frasier: Oh. Oh, I see. [chuckling] Yes, in fact, I did pop into Bad Billy's yesterday. You see, I thought I had seen a gentlemen I wished to speak with go in there, and I'd certainly never been in that bar before.
Kevin: "Then how come you knew the bartender by name? And why were you wearing those tight little shorts?"
Frasier: Well, they- They were not my shorts. You see, I'd been playing squash, and I borrowed them from my... [catches himself] uh, from my friend, who is slim-hipped.
Kevin: "Yeah, kind of like that nervous guy you picked up."
Frasier: Look, I did not pick anybody up. All right, I am going to put an end to this discussion, because there is nothing to discuss. On my way home from the gym, I popped into Bad Billy's looking for a man I was hoping was in the bathroom. I had a quick sherry with my French polisher and then I left. As for how I got into another man's shorts, that is no one's business!

Frasier: Dad, would you please clean up that debris around your chair. Alistair is coming by.
Martin: Oh, Alistair. That's all we've heard around here all week. Alistair this, Alistair that...
Daphne: You can't blame him for being excited. It's fun having a famous friend. When I lived in England... Do you know the actor Peter O'Toole?
Martin: Sure.
Daphne: I always thought it would be fun to be friends with him.

Niles: Frasier, can we talk to you for a moment?
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: Do you realize that every person in this room thinks that you're Alistair's boyfriend?
Frasier: Listen, I can't help it if people think we're a couple. The point is, I'm enjoying myself, and if you're too jealous to be happy for me, then that's your problem.
Niles: Jealous?
Frasier: Yes, that's right. All my life, I have dreamed of being half of a power couple, and I finally am! Is it perfect? No. But it's fun, and I don't want it to end.

Niles: Well, looks like Nigel won't be the only one giving up his seat tonight.
Frasier: I could scratch your eyes out and not one person here would find it strange.
Daphne: I'm sorry.
Frasier: Damn my fatal allure.

Niles: "Bad Billy's." What sort of place do you think that is?
Frasier: Well, let's see. Tuesday is leather night, so it's probably some sort of shoe outlet. It's a gay bar, you idiot. Come on, let's go.

Alistair: Frasier!
Frasier: Oh, Alistair.
Alistair: So sorry to hear about your ordeal today.
Frasier: Oh, boy. You heard my show then?
Alistair: No, I heard the replay on "Kiki and Mel's Drivetime Circus." If it's any comfort, I went through the same thing myself once.
Frasier: Really?
Alistair: Yes, I was a guest on a call-in show, and an angry ex-boyfriend phoned in. Everything came out: names, dates, birthmarks. Had quite a chat with the wife that night. Very frank, very expensive.

Martin: Who's Alistair Burke?
Frasier: He is only the head of the Seattle Opera Guild, and one of the finest directors in the world.
Niles: His productions are brilliant. He staged a Phillip Glass opera last year, and no one left.

Frasier: Alistair, uh, it's, it's Frasier Crane. Uh, we met last year at the fundraiser.
Alistair: Of course. You're on the radio.
Frasier: Yes, yes!
Alistair: [to Niles] And you're, uh— Don't tell me... All right, tell me.
Niles: Niles Crane.

Roz: Wow, that was thorough. Find any polyps up there?
Frasier: We were merely paying due respect to one of the giants of the opera world.

Roz: So, isn't he fabulous?
Frasier: Yes, yes, uh, fabulous sums it up in a word.