Frasier: Yes, well, with any luck we'll still catch the last twenty minutes of the rally. But how I'll explain my lateness, I have no idea. I certainly can't tell them about the fish, the little girls. I'll have to make something up I suppose, any suggestions?
Niles: The train stopped.
Frasier: That's not very original.
Niles: No, Frasier, the train's stopped.

Frasier: Excuse me, what's happening?
Conductor: There's an electrical problem ahead. We're going back to West Lake.
Frasier: What? But those people are waiting for me. They're so close.
Conductor: I guess it just isn't your day.
Frasier: But it is my day!

Niles: Don't panic, Frasier.
Frasier: Don't panic? Yes, why should I have any reason to panic? My God, I'm only going to miss a celebration in my own honor, making me a laughingstock forever. And why? Because you spilt coffee on my shoes.
Niles: You're blaming me?
Frasier: Well, if you had the gripping abilities every species above the tree sloth was born with...
Niles: You should think back on the forty-five minutes you and your ego spent in that shoe store, trying on every pair of shoes, including the ones the manager was wearing!
Frasier: Are you calling me vain?
Niles: If the "Joan & David" fits...

Niles: You shouldn't feel guilty, Frasier. Everyone deserves a fuss. You above all. You've helped a lot of people, they deserve a chance to thank you for it.
Frasier: Thank you, Niles. There it goes. Good bye, fuss. Good bye, day.

Driver: I've had a bit of a rough day myself.
Frasier: Oh?
Driver: Yeah, my ex-wife is getting remarried in Pennsylvania. Are you going to that rally over there?
Frasier: Oh, as a matter of fact, I am.
Driver: I told her I'd come to the wedding, but I've been getting cold feet. Better make up my mind soon, though, the plane leaves in a few hours. They don't give you any bargains on those last minute
tickets, either.
Frasier: Maybe this isn't the best time to tell you this, but I'll have to owe you for this ride.
Driver: Don't worry about it. We probably never should have gotten married in the first place. We were dumb. Had a few good years, though.
Frasier: Oh, that's something at least.
Driver: At least the kids are going to be there tomorrow.
Frasier: Kids?
Driver: Son and a daughter. I don't see them much. They went with their mom after we divorced. Of course, I think I'm more excited about seeing them than they are about seeing me.
Frasier: Why would you say that?
Driver: Just a feeling. I didn't make much of my life back when Marie and I were together. I turned it around, though. I own this car.
Frasier: Well, it's a nice one.
Driver: You know what the hardest part is? If I do go, I have to see my in-laws. They never were too crazy about me. This new guy Marie's marrying, he's supposed to be some kinda big success. I don't know what I'd say to any of them. Part of me thinks I'd just be best leaving the whole thing alone.
Frasier: And part of you doesn't?
Driver: I'd like to see my kids. Especially now they're getting a new dad. Hell of a choice, eh?
Frasier: Well, you know, sometimes difficult choices like these can be good things. They can teach us about who we are.
[The car pulls up outside the Frasier Crane Day rally at the Space Needle]
Driver: Well, I've bent your ear enough about this. Besides, we're here.
Frasier: Oh, don't worry about me, I've got plenty of time. Tell me more about your kids.
Driver: I'm John, by the way. [shaking hands]
Frasier: I'm Frasier.

Frasier: All right, let me have it. What kind of public circus am I in for? I suppose a garish outdoor rally like the one they gave for Bob and Nipsy over at KTLK.
Roz: I told him just what you said about how the work is its own reward, so you're off the hook.
Frasier: They're not doing anything?
Roz: Nope.
Frasier: Well. Well done, Roz. That's a relief. Although, I'm not sure I'm being quite fair to you. You see, I did hear that after that rally, Bob and Nipsy's ratings went up thirty percent. Their producer got a handsome raise.
Roz: Oh, yeah.
Frasier: And you with the little one coming...
Roz: Well, it's too late now.
Frasier: Right. Can't be helped. Best to just leave it alone. Still... there is the benefit of the station. What's good for KACL's good for all of us, isn't it?
Roz: Yeah, that's true.
Frasier: You know, well, I suppose you could just give Greg a call and tell him I'd be willing, well for your sake and the station's, to submit to a small tasteful, low-key... public rally.