Niles: Stop waving!
Frasier: Why, there's nothing wrong with being friendly.
Niles: Well, there is a difference between being friendly and making a public spectacle of yourself.
[As Frasier and Niles walk by a fishmonger in Seattle's Public Market, a fish is thrown from the counter to a man in front of them. Niles jumps back in shock and drops his coffee on Frasier's shoes.]
Niles: Argh! Frasier, did you see? That man tried to assault me with a fish!
Frasier: Good Lord, Niles, get a grip. For God's sake, you become hysterical over the littlest things. Oh, my God! My suede shoes, you've spilled Latte all over them, they're ruined.
Niles: I'm sorry. And it was a half-caf cappuccino. Why can no-one remember that?

Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, Niles, will you come outta there?
Niles: Our mugger specifically instructed us to wait for five minutes.
Frasier: If he wanted us to time it exactly, he wouldn't have taken our watches.

Daphne: Excuse me, Mayor Rice?
Mayor Rice: Yes.
Daphne: I have a small bone to pick with you. I can't say I care for the way your city treats us poor aliens.
Mayor Rice: Er, you're an alien?
Daphne: Yes, Daphne Moon. You see, my friend, Xena, and I, she's an alien too, we're trying to get down to Mazatlan to rendezvous with her mother's ship...
Mayor Rice: Her mothership?
Daphne: Yes. And from what I hear, it's quite spectacular.
Mayor Rice: I'm sure it is. Why don't you go with these two gentlemen? I'm sure they could take care of you.
Daphne: Well, thank you very much.
[Two men in suits take Daphne away]
Daphne: Hello.
Body Guard: Hi.
Daphne: Do you two work for the mayor?
Body Guard: Yes.
Daphne: Well, I suppose I should know that already, you see, I'm a bit psychic.

Niles: Do you think anyone saw us sneaking on?
Frasier: No, I think we're all right.
Niles: I hate to say it but it was sort of exciting flaunting the law like that. It gives you some idea as to why outlaws have also been such romantic figures.
Frasier: Yes, perhaps you might have cut a more dashing figure had you vaulted over the turnstile rather than crawling underneath it.
Niles: I'm surprised the trains are even running on Frasier Crane Day.

Frasier: I don't even know why I'm yelling at you. I guess I'm just trying to blame you because I don't want to face the truth. I'm a big, fat phony. I wanted my day. I wanted hoopla and fuss. I practically planned the whole thing myself.
Niles: You did?
Frasier: Yes. It says a lot about me as a psychiatrist, doesn't it? I'm a small man.
Niles: Oh, what does it say about me that I was happy seeing you miss your day?
Frasier: You were?
Niles: Of course. I've been jealous of you all week. I'm a tiny man.
Frasier: Next to me you're a giant.
Niles: I stare up at your ankles.
Frasier: I'd need a stepladder just to-
Niles: Oh, let's not do this.

Niles: Frasier, dinner's on me. I got some very good news today.
Daphne: What a coincidence. Your brother just got some good news, too.
Niles: Not so good as mine, I suspect. But first of all, I have to apologize for being so snippy this morning. I've been feeling a bit eclipsed lately, but all that vanished when I reached my office, and what was waiting on my desk, but a gift from the self-esteem ferry? [holds magazine up]
Frasier: "The American Journal of Psychiatry"?
Niles: Hmm-mmm. Hmm-mmm. I refer you to the letters page, third one down.
Frasier: [reading] "Dear sirs, Dr. Egmont Sanderling's recent article on trichotillomania contains several errors. He would do well to read the groundbreaking work on the subject published by, among others, Dr. Alan Caudwell, Dr. Milo Lauderstein..."
Niles: Skip to the end.
Frasier: [reading] ..."Oh, Dr. Geraldine Fenley and Dr. Niles Crane!"
Niles: Not too shabby, eh?
Frasier: And quite an accolade.
Daphne: Yeah, I had no idea you were such a well-known expert on... on the thing that the letter mentioned.
Martin: And the way they saved you for last so you'll really stand out.
Niles: Nothing to kick away the clouds like a heady sip from the goblet of fame. Which reminds me, I told Jean-Claude to start my victory Martini shaking at precisely eight o' clock.

Waiter: Hey, how are you doing, Doc? The usual?
Frasier: Please.
Niles: I'll have my usual, too.
Waiter: And that would be...?
Niles: Oh, come on. I come in here every day. You must remember my usual is... a half-caf... cappuccino... with a light dusting of...
Waiter: Nutmeg.
Niles: Cinnamon!
Waiter: Got it.
Niles: God, that's infuriating!
Frasier: Oh.
Niles: I come in here every bit as often as you do.

Martin: Shut up already. You've been yakking about this all morning.
Daphne: Well, it's a stupid rule and it's always we foreigners that suffer for it.
Frasier: Take another drive on the wrong side of the road today, did we?
Daphne: No!

Waiter: There you go, Doc. Anything for you, ma'am?
Daphne: Oh, thanks, I've already ordered.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, you had the...
Niles: Absent-minded waiter. I'll get it myself.

Daphne: But still, a thousand shows. That's quite an achievement.
Frasier: Yeah, I suppose, who'd have thought?
Martin: Not me, that's for damn sure. Yeah, those first two weeks. P.U.! Open a window.
Frasier: All right, dad!