Martin: Did you see that? The character in this movie just dialed the phone and at the exact same moment, our phone rings. It's like Montgomery Cliff's calling me.
Frasier: Say hello to him for me.

Roz: Looks like all that hard work you've been doing is paying off.
Frasier: Well, I'm not about to let up now. I never want her to feel as if she's being taken for granted.
Roz: Wow. You're giving Niles a run for his money.
Frasier: Oh, please. In the great golden book of love, Niles will be a mere footnote to my glorious saga. I'm gonna take his ball and run it to the end zone. Is that a thing?
Roz: Yes.

Daphne: He's having some kind of reaction to the sauce.
Niles: Did you put scallops in it?
Daphne: No.
Frasier: Nutmeg?
Daphne: No.
Martin: Wheat germ?
Daphne: No.
Frasier: Carob?
Daphne: No.
Niles: Cumin?
Daphne: Maybe.

Niles: I'm sorry. I was trying to something nice for our first Valentine's Day.
Daphne: Well, what do you think I was trying to do? Now I'm going to have to spend the whole night rubbing lotion all over you.
[suddenly their anger dissipates]
Niles: I'm sorry I yelled at you.

Robert: Here's my sister now.
Frasier: Oh.
Judy: Oh, my God. Aarr!
Frasier: Aarr!
Judy: Aarr!
Frasier: Okay.
Roz: Wow, looks like you two already know each other. You even have your own language.
Judy: It must be fate.
Frasier: It must be.

Radio Announcer: We now return to a repeat broadcast of "The Best of Crane". Please do not call in.
Frasier: [on the radio] Before the break we were talking to Phil, who's having trouble getting over a relationship. Phil, if you're listening, it might help to keep in mind the old adage: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Frasier: I do make a good point.
[Slide to Universe #2:]
Frasier: What a load of crap.

Frasier: Is that my sweater?
Niles: Oh, yes, here. What's the emergency?
Frasier: Well, actually, I was going out this evening and I was thinking about changing my attire. While the suit projects a certain professionalism, you know "Dr. Frasier Crane," I was thinking perhaps the sweater could impart a more casual feel, "Just Frais." Any thoughts?
Roz: ... [to Niles] So I bet you and Daphne have big Valentine's Day plans.

Niles: She's cooking dinner for me and then I've a big surprise planned. I'm taking her to Cancun for a long romantic weekend.
Roz: Not bad.
Niles: Yes, I'm whisking her to the airport in a limo filled with exotic orchids. You don't think that's a too over the top, do you?
Roz: No, I think that boat sailed with your t-shirt.

Roz: For God's sake, Frasier, flip a coin.
Frasier: I know this may seem like nothing to you, Roz, but the tiniest decision can shape your whole destiny. So, which path should I follow? Sweater. Suit. Sweater. Suit. Sweater.
Roz: Oh, just pick one.

Daphne: It's for Niles' Valentine's dinner.
Frasier: Oh, that's not 'til next week.
Daphne: Yeah, but it's a complicated recipe. I need to practice. You two are going to be my guinea pigs.
Martin: Maybe we could fake our own deaths.