Frasier: Uh, Kirby... listen, I'm terribly sorry about what just happened.
Kirby: What?
Frasier: You see, whenever Kenny sends someone out to the candy machine, it's a signal that that person won't be around anymore. We call it the "Hershey's Kiss-Off."

Daphne: Leave it, Old Man.
Martin: It's bugging me. I do not have high blood pressure, and it looks ridiculous.
Daphne: I think it looks handsome. Like those armbands gladiators wore, only inflatable.

Daphne: Why is it your responsibility to help him?
Frasier: Well, the truth is I really didn't do all I could to help him get a job at the radio station. Poor Kirby. You know, maybe I should just turn the ringer back on. [phone rings] Maybe after dinner.

Frasier: So, how was your weekend?
Niles: Fine, and yours?
Frasier: Good. You know, something curious did happen, though. I was in the cheese shop, and I... ran into Reynolds. And he told me that he saw several bottles of Chateau Haut Brion '61 at your place. I wasn't aware that you had the Brion '61.
Niles: Really? Didn't I tell you, I stumbled across a case.
Frasier: Really? That's wonderful news, Niles. It's virtually unattainable. So, how much do I owe you for my half?
Niles: That's very funny. Reynolds made that same joke.

Niles: Look, Daphne, I was, uh, I was thinking rather than go to another boring movie, why don't we go back to my place and kick off our shoes and, uh, rearrange my library?
Daphne: Are you still doing that? You said you'd be finished by now.
Frasier: Yes, he says a lot of things.
Niles: It's a bigger project than I'd anticipated.
Daphne: Can't you hire someone to help you?
Niles: And let someone else touch my books? Where would I find someone with your unimpeachable fastidiousness?
Frasier: Fastidious, you say? You know, Niles, I believe I know just the lad that can help you. Kirby Gardner.
Daphne: Is he that boy who's been calling you all afternoon?
Frasier: Yes, yes, he's very persistent. One of his many fine attributes. You know, I've wanted to hire him myself, but there was nothing available for him at the station.

Niles: Kirby, your friend Kristi, she's not related to William Mulvehill?
Kirby: Yeah, that's her grandfather. So weird how all you old dudes all know each other.
Niles: Well, I don't actually know him, just know of him and his wine collection.
Kirby: Wine collection. It's famous among the old dudes.
Niles: Legendary. Except he's so reclusive, no one gets to see it. Frasier and I have tried everything but sealing ourselves in casks and rolling in.

Kirby: Really? I go there a lot.
Niles: You've been to the Mulvehill wine cellar? Have you seen the bottle that was owned by Thomas Jefferson?
Kirby: Well, I'm usually with Kristi so, uh, I'm looking at the jugs, not the bottles, if you know what I mean.
Niles: [chuckling] Oh, you. You know, it would be quite a thrill for a wine connoisseur like me to meet William Mulvehill. Do you think you could... get me in?
Kirby: I bet Kristi could.
Niles: Well, let's just get her on the phone and ask her, shall we?
Kirby: Well, I would, but... if I were unemployed I'd-I'd just be too depressed to talk to her.
Niles: Oh... unemployed, what are you talking about? That was just a few harsh words spoken in a moment of haste. So the library isn't challenging enough for you, we'll find something more suited to your particular... talents.

Kirby: [to Niles] Oh, hi. Grampy Mulvehill says only one person can go into the wine cellar.
Frasier: Grampy Mulvehill? As in William Mulvehill?
Kirby: I told you. Old dudes, they all know each other.

Frasier: I knew something was up. You weren't going to tell me about Mulvehill, were you?
Niles: I'm sorry. I have le vin fou.
Frasier: Don't hand me that. That is just a flimsy excuse for your outrageous selfishness, and what's worse is you are actually using that boy.

Martin: Where have you been? I'm starving.
Daphne: Sorry, I was walking Eddie. Haven't even been to the market yet.
Martin: Oh, Daph, it's almost six o'clock. How many times do I have to... Red balloon... It's all right.