Daphne: I suppose fathers are the same everywhere. Mine couldn't bear to see us fight. If there was so much as a peep out of us, he'd be out the door to the pub. Stay for a few hours, sometimes overnight. Then, when they brought him back the next morning, we couldn't fight because of his headaches. I suppose that was part of his plan to keep harmony in the family. God bless him.

Niles: Oh, Daphne, wait up. I'll ride down with you. Frasier, you have a chance for something real with Nancy. Only a fool would throw that away chasing after some-
Daphne: It's here!
Niles: Oh, wait for me! -pie in the sky.

Frasier: Gosh, I'd love to, but I've got a date tonight with Nancy.
Roz: That's still going on?
Frasier: Yes, as a matter of fact, we're going out tonight on our third date. You know the kind, it's like one of your
first dates.

Frasier: Oh, my God. It's a Patek Philippe pocket watch!
Niles: That is stunning. I almost bought one like that on my honeymoon, only Maris thought it was too impractical, so we got that Glockenspiel instead.

Martin: Look at this mess. Ah, it's too bad it's not bubble wrap. Ha. You don't know what funny is until you see Eddie go at a sheet of that stuff. Poppity-pop-pop-pop! He gets all scared and runs away, and then he screws up his courage and comes back again, and - poppity-pop-pop! - and he runs away again. Yeah, I watched him for an hour one time. You know, it's amazing how entertained he can be by something so simple. Poppity-pop-pop-pop! [laughs]

Martin: Well, I don't get this, how could this happen?
Niles: Well, the other gift was left in Frasier's squash bag, which is exactly like mine. And, I guess today the waitress must have mistaken Frasier for me. You don't suppose it's Daphne?
Martin: Yeah, she took the second job washing that old Mrs. Lumpkin's hair just so she can give you Cartier.

Nancy: I've been here before, you know. Two years ago, for your Christmas party?
Frasier: Really?
Nancy: I don't remember this chair.
Frasier: Oh, well, normally there's something draped over it, my father.

Niles: Frasier, why did I go over there? Why didn't I listen to you?
Frasier: Why didn't I listen to you? If I had I'd be sitting with Nancy right now, sipping wine in front of the fire.
Niles: I'll be stripped clean and devoured like an animal.
Frasier: And I won't be.

Frasier: Well, where were we?
Nancy: Well, I think you were about to ask me out again.
Frasier: Oh, my gosh, so I was. Well, let's just see how far this ESP of yours goes. What night was I thinking of?
Nancy: Friday night.
Frasier: Astonishing. Busboy, clear these spoons before she starts bending them.

Niles: Here, feast your eyes on this.
Frasier: "Financial Settlement." Good lord, Niles, you and Maris have come to terms?
Niles: What was that? I couldn't hear you over the angels singing.