Daphne: This is for you, from the DMV.
Martin: Oh-ho, I know what this is. The custom plates I ordered for my Winnebago! Yay! Well, fifty bucks, but I think it says it all.
Frasier: Rrrd wrrer?
Daphne: Rid worryer?
Frasier: Red Wearer!
Martin: Oh, for God's sake. "Road Warrior".
Daphne: Of course. For a retired man with a cane and a Winnebago, I don't know why my mind didn't go straight to it.

Motorist: [v.o.] Pick a lane, Road Warrior!
Martin: See, he got it.

Frasier: You know, besides, I'm actually enjoying this little trip through the heartland. I feel a bit out of touch with the common man, it's nice to reconnect.
Niles: Well, while you're reconnecting. Why don't you let me drive?
[Frasier and Martin share a look]
Frasier: I would, Niles. It's just that, em... I need you to navigate.
Martin: Yeah, you're the most important member of our crew, good buddy.
Frasier: The man with the map.
Niles: Stop patronizing me. I want to drive.
Martin: Oh, you're not good with big cars, Niles. Remember when I tried to teach you to drive my Le Sabre? You kept panicking and pulling on the emergency brake.
Niles: Well, it's a good thing I did. Those mailboxes weren't even slowing me down.

Martin: Hey, look, another Little Red Cabin sign. You know, we're not going to find anything better to eat on this highway.
Frasier: Oh, let's not be hasty, Dad. It's five miles away. We might run over something before then.

Niles: You know, I am so tired, I can barely read this menu.
Frasier: It's all right, Niles. You don't have to read. You can just point to a picture of the food you want.
Martin: What's this? "A log roller with your choice of cheese." You can't have a Log Roller without American cheese!
Frasier: Apparently you can't get anything in this restaurant without American cheese, including the menu.

Martin: Niles, if you're so tired, why don't you go back to the Road Warrior and take a nap?
Niles: Oh, you know, that's a good idea. At least it'll be quiet.
Martin: I wonder if you can still get Sticky Shingles here?
Niles: One look at the salad bar says yes.

Niles: Yes, yes, hello. I'm being kidnapped. This is an emergency. I'm being kidnapped. I'm in a stolen Winnebago heading east on I-84. I can't talk any louder, I'm being stolen. Yes, yes. Washington plates, R-D-W-R-E-R. Road Warrior. Yes, it does. It does so, sound it out. Oh, never mind, for God's sake, just save me.

Martin: What a clown. I can tell you ten things he did wrong right off the bat.
Frasier: Well, at least he was apologetic.
Martin: Oh, these hick towns give any bozo a badge. [The officer returns to the window] A goober like that
wouldn't last ten minutes in a real police force ... [seeing him] without getting a promotion.
Officer: Your license. [hands it over]

Martin: Well, Happy New Year, boys.
Frasier: Oh, yes, five minutes ago. Everyone in the world will have a wonderful story to tell about where they were and what they were doing when the millennium dawned. What is our story? Speeding along a lonely highway and you here doing nothing.
Niles: Well, not exactly nothing. Big Sandy let me watch the register while she emptied the rat traps.

Martin: I'm sorry, boys. It's dying. I'm going to be lucky to get this off the road.
Frasier: I can't stand this. Have we so offended the millennium gods that they will do anything to ruin this evening? Burn down our restaurant? Hurl vindictive lawmen and duplicate Winnebagos in our path to confound us?!
Martin: Hey, is that a sign?
Frasier: Of course it's a sign. It's a sign that we're cursed.