Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Martin: Look at him, he's humiliated!
[A dog barks from the apartment above]
Daphne: Yeah, well, it doesn't help that that bully upstairs keeps rubbing it in.
[Eddie barks towards the ceiling]
Martin: You tell him, boy!
[Frasier emerges from his bedroom in his dressing gown]
Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, I am trying to get some sleep. I asked you to keep that dog quiet, and instead you outfit him with a megaphone!

Kate: Enjoying your new time slot?
Frasier: As a matter of fact, I found it invigorating. Didn't you, Roz? Remember that woman who called in, uh, you know, with the delusions of grandeur? Couldn't understand why nobody liked her.
Kate: Well, I hope you explained to her that it's not important that people like her, as long as they respect her.
Frasier: Oh yes, respect is important. So is self-respect.
Kate: Oh, yes, yes, but some people, and this is so unfortunate, can't tell the difference between self-respect and pig-headedness.
Frasier: Yes, but those people are usually rigid little demagogues who don't know the difference between the kind of respect that is earned and the kind of respect that is irrespective ... of what others expect.
Kate: Isn't it sad when bad things happen to good sentences?