Niles Quote #71
Frasier: "Though summer at the lake seems but a vapid, vacuous experience, it is a necessary tonic for my troubled youth..." Niles, how old were you when you wrote this?
Niles: Almost nine. Which explains the redundancy, "vapid" and "vacuous." By ten, my writing had gotten considerably tighter.
Frasier: Among other things.
Quote from Daphne
[As Daphne helps Martin flex his leg]
Daphne: Working down at the docks has always been a tradition for us Moons. Me father worked on the docks, and me grandfather before him. All my brothers do. Well, except for me brother Billy. He came home one day, and announced he hated the smell of fish and was going to teach ballroom dancing. And he did. And he does. He's me mum's favorite. Dad mostly flicks the crust off his kidney pie at him.
Martin: How much longer do I have to do this?
Daphne: Be patient. You don't want to go through life dragging your leg behind you like a dead tree branch.
Martin: I'm talking about listening to your family's history.
Daphne: Now, I know you don't mean that. Why would a man of your intelligence say a thing like that when you're in the position you're in and I'm in the position I'm in?
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Look Dad, I don't blame you for being defensive, but I had a right to know. For your information, this sort of thing happens to a lot of people. If it's any consolation, I know exactly how you feel. I never told you this but, Lilith did the same thing to me.
Martin: Lilith had an affair?
Frasier: The most painful and humiliating experience of my entire life. Well, I'm sure you felt the same way.
Martin: Well, I hadn't thought about it for quite some time, but thanks for reminding me. [laughing] Lilith?
Frasier: I found her attractive. I mean, is it so inconceivable that another man might find her attractive as well?Martin: I guess. So who was the bozo in your case?
Frasier: Oh, God. A Frenchman who lived in a self-contained underground eco-pod.
Martin: Well, that still sounds better than a urologist with a bad comb-over.
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.