Niles: All right, I'm going to bed now. I was hoping this book would make me drowsy, but it looks like your dream has done the trick instead.
Frasier: You died tragically, and no one missed you!

Frasier: All right, then. Come on, callers, don't be shy. There's still time to talk with the good doctor. Five open lines.Who's this, then, Roz? On line one, uh, whom do we have? I understand we have... Susan, who recently moved here from... Texas.
Frasier: Go ahead, Susan, I'm listening.
Roz: [in a Texan accent] Hi, Dr. Crane. I'm new in town, from Texas, and uh, I just left my husband.
Frasier: I see, and why did you do that?
Roz: Well, uh... [losing the accent] Oh, I know. He was abusive!
Frasier: That couldn't have been easy for you.
Roz: [resuming Texas accent] Well, my girlfriend helped me. We just got in our convertible and drove through the desert, and we stopped at this honky-tonk. I started dancing with this cowboy--long story short, he roughed me up, and my friend killed him--but then we met the cutest cowboy, but he stole all our money, so we robbed a gas station and blew up a tanker truck-
Frasier: Yes, I'm afraid we're out of time. I will finish with you off the air, Susan.

Frasier: Dad, we're sorry.
Niles: You were right.
Daphne: Maybe we let our problems get to us a bit too much.
Martin: Well, hell yes, if they're the worst of your problems, you're lucky. I've got a bullet in my hip, a girlfriend who's too good for me and might realize it any day, a dog who's pushing eighty in human years, and I'm not far behind him. But you don't hear me making a fuss, do you? Know why? 'Cause I focus on what's good about my life.