Niles Quote #2074

Quote from Niles in The Ann Who Came to Dinner

Niles: "So, I shipped myself to our private island where, like dear Uncle Julius, I will be immune from extradition. Thank you all and forgive me. Best regards, Maris. P.S. Big ups to all my homeys in lock-down. Stay black, Cell Block D."
Frasier: So, you were the decoys. It's ingenious.
Niles: Mm-hmm.
Martin: How'd she get the tracking bracelet off?
Niles: Apparently she swallowed a salt tablet to make her ankle swell right before they fitted her. Then, when the swelling went down, the bracelet just slipped right off.

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 ‘The Ann Who Came to Dinner’ Quotes

Quote from Niles

Daphne: Look at this fancy back scratcher.
Niles: That's not exactly what it is. Every winter Maris would fly down to the private island her family owns in the south Pacific. On Christmas, she'd let the native children come by and fish coins from hers fountains.
Martin: Oh, some kind of coin-scooper, huh?
Niles: No, no. It's a stick with a claw on the end it in case any of the children got too close to her.

Quote from Niles

Roz: Is it true that she fired one of the gardeners because she found a worm on the front walk?
Niles: Well, to be fair, Maris has always been frightened and disgusted by them.
Roz: It's just a stupid worm.
Niles: No, I'm talking about gardeners.

 Niles Crane Quotes

Quote from To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

Quote from Frasier Grinch

Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.