Frasier Quote #3114

Quote from Frasier in Roe to Perdition

Mr. Michaels: Very kind of you to have us here, Crane.
Mrs. Michaels: Yes, it's wonderful. But then you must be used to hosting successful parties.
Frasier: Oh, not really. Something's usually on fire by now.
Mrs. Michaels: Oh, you're funny.
Frasier: No, I'm serious.

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 ‘Roe to Perdition’ Quotes

Quote from Martin

Bank President: Mr. Crane, as the president of the bank, I want to assure you that it is not our policy to draw firearms on customers trying to make a deposit.
Martin: [wearily] It wasn't a deposit.
Bank President: Now, I'm sure that neither of us wants to turn this into a protracted legal battle, so if you would simply sign this non-disclosure agreement here, here, here, and here. Our attorneys have authorized me to compensate you for your troubles in the amount of $10,000, which can be credited to your account.
Martin: Ten grand?
Bank President: Plus the $40 from our original mistake.
Martin: Oh, what the hell, I just want to get it over with. [Signs the forms.]
Bank President: That's wonderful. Now, is there anything else I can do for you?
Daphne: Could I open an account?

Quote from Niles

Petyr: [strong Russian accent] You know, the reason for such high prices is the Russian mafia. They control this market.
Niles: The Russian mafia controls Robert's Gourmet Goodies?
Frasier: He means the caviar market, you ninny.

 Dr. Frasier Crane Quotes

Quote from She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.