Niles Quote #1893
Niles: How's it going?
Frasier: Oh, we're just discussing a new, rather unpleasant colleague of ours. Be thankful that you're self-employed. You don't have to deal with these headaches.
Niles: Oh, not so. I was hoping to come here and complain about my office remodel. I'm annexing the dermatologist's office next door, and in a cheap irony, my skin is breaking out.
Frasier: Your spackle allergy again?
Niles: I'm covered with tiny bumps. It's worse than the summer we added the breakfast nook to the tree house.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: As your colleague, I do not deserve to be treated this way.
Julia: Oh, no. We are hardly "colleagues." I deliver the news and you're a... Magic Eight Ball with a Harvard degree.
Frasier: I will not be belittled by a half-educated, money-grubbing parvenu!
Julia: As opposed to some foreign-speaking windbag?
Frasier: That makes you an insecure fraud!
Julia: You are a pompous blowhard!
Frasier: [lightly grasping her arms] Are you as turned on as I am?
Julia: What? No! Ugh! [casting off his hands] Did you just come on to me?
Frasier: What? No. No. I thought... I thought that you...
Julia: Oh! How could you think I was turned on? What, are you sick?
Quote from Gil
Gil: Um, I'd like to say something.
Van: Okay, go ahead, Gil.
Gil: From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for my wandering eye over the years. Those whom I mentally undressed - and you know who you are - all I can say, and it's a poor defense, is that I was a product of the thoughtless machismo of my times.
Van: Thank you, Gil.
Gil: But know this, Gil isn't about to stop loving the ladies.
Van: Thank you, Gil. I think they like to be called "women" now.
Gil: Huh. Do they ever!
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.