Frasier: Listen, Noel, I'm afraid I have some bad news about the, uh, science fiction convention.
Noel: Uh-oh!
Frasier: Long story short, you see, I attended an art opening and a luncheon on Saturday, and even though I left the luncheon early the traffic on the way to the convention was just awful and by the time I got there, Mr. Bakula and all the others had gone.
Noel: No...! You made a promise and you welshed on it. Why'd you do it, Dr. Crane?

Rabbi Gendler: We will conclude with a blessing from Frederick's father, Frasier, who, though not of our faith, has chosen to follow his son's fine example and deliver it in Hebrew.
Frasier: Thank you. I'll keep this short.
Frederick: Thanks, Dad.
Frasier: Pookh lod wih le koo. Hach jahj cho-koov-moakh leng-lidge loo-Teb jahj leng widge-vahd bel rahp shoave dah-nobe-poo-boagh. Shabbat shalom.

Lilith: Here we are. File A, slide sheet 1, image 1 of subject Frederick G. Crane.
Frederick: Mom!
Lilith: Here you are, just an hour after being wrestled from my grudging womb.
Frederick: Gross!
Lilith: You know, if you'd like there's still time to include this in your Bar Mitzvah video.
Frederick: Thanks, but I just want to get through this thing with as little humiliation as possible.
Lilith: Oh, look at this. Your hospital cap. The very combed cotton that swaddled your little...[voice breaking] head.
Frederick: Are you okay?
Lilith: Of course I am. It's only natural that there should be some emotional upheaval caused by the impending shift in our relationship. I knew it would come, I just wasn't expecting such a roller coaster. ... All done.