TV Quotes

Frasier: In fact, KQZY is not only going to be carrying the show, but they've invited Roz and me to conduct Monday's broadcast from their studios in Spokane. But fret not, Seattle. Although my body will be 300 miles away, my heart will be firmly lodged in your radios. ... You know, that sounded a lot better this morning in the shower. Anyway, good day and good mental health.

Martin: Oh, it's going to feel good to break out the tools, roll up my sleeves, and make something with my own two hands.
Frasier: Dad, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, woodworking has never been your strength.
Niles: Yeah, I think the scariest words of my childhood were, "Your father needs your help down in the basement."
Martin: Well, I must have done something right. I made a lot of good stuff.
Frasier: Even with directions, you could never assemble anything. I remember a play set where the slide ended right in front of the swings.
Niles: I don't remember that.
Frasier: I know. Sorry.

Roz: Ever heard of Lupe Velez?
Frasier: Who?
Roz: Lupe Velez. The movie star in the '30s. Well, her career hit the skids so she decided she'd make one final stab at immortality. She figured if she couldn't be remembered for her movies, she'd be remembered for the way she died. And all Lupe wanted was to be remembered. So, she plans this lavish suicide. Flowers, candles, silk sheet, white satin gown, full hair and make-up, the works. She takes the overdose of pills, lays on the bed and imagines how beautiful she's going to look on tomorrow's front page. Unfortunately, the pills don't set well with the enchilada combo plate she sadly chose as her last meal. She stumbles to the bathroom, trips and goes head-first into the toilet. And that's how they found her.
Frasier: Is there a reason you're telling me this story?
Roz: Yes. Even though things may not happen like we planned, they can work out anyway.
Frasier: Remind me again how it worked for Lupe, last seen with her head in the toilet.
Roz: All she wanted was to be remembered. Will you ever forget that story?

Frasier: I have someone here with me today, someone you haven't seen for quite a while. There's something she'd like to tell you, something she's wanted to tell you for a very, very long time. Mrs. Mulhern?
Mrs. Mulhern: You little whore!
Nora: Mother!
Mrs. Mulhern: So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus. You'll pay for that, missy!
Roz: I was wrong, Frasier! Your way is better!