Niles Quote #1789

Quote from Niles in The Love You Fake

Niles: Hello, all. It's called a Segway. My friend Raul at the university is doing an experiment on the psychological effects of technology, and he asked me to ride it around.
Martin: Well, how do you like it?
Niles: Oh, walking is but a distant memory. Better yet, I can redirect the unused energy to other pursuits such as playing Squash or lovemaking.


 ‘The Love You Fake’ Quotes

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: Good morning, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: There you are. [holding up a dark sock] What is the meaning of this? Where is his mate?
Daphne: I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about.
Frasier: My favorite pair of socks reduced to a single argyle. Nor is this the only example. The keen observer yesterday would have noticed that I left the apartment wearing two shades of black! Explanation, please!
Daphne: I'm sorry, Dr. Crane. I'm forced to do the laundry downstairs, and I guess your socks are just too tempting to the neighbors. Of course, you're welcome to go down there yourself and stand guard.
Frasier: I see. If we had our own washer-dryer, there would be no more lost socks. I will not be strong-armed by threats against my laundry!
Daphne: Suit yourself. I'm off to do a load of your pinks.
Frasier: I don't have any pinks.
Daphne: You will.

Quote from Frasier

Cam: Hello, Crane. Glad you could make it... I guess.
Frasier: Spare me your honey-glazed pleasantries, Cam. I am here to roll up my sleeves and end our feud.
Cam: As am I. That's why I called you.
Frasier: Just for the record, it was my idea to apologize first.
Cam: Well, that seems appropriate, since you're the one who shut off the water and ruined my clothes.
Frasier: That, sir, is a fraction of the story. Since you moved into this building, you have encroached upon my parking space, you have undermined my position with the condo board, and you killed a magnificent Virginia Creeper.
Cam: Which you gleefully encouraged to climb the balcony and choke my dangling ivy.
Frasier: I thought it was marijuana!
Cam: Dangling ivy looks nothing like marijuana!
Frasier: Well, I'm sure I wouldn't know.

 Niles Crane Quotes

Quote from To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

Quote from The Club

Frasier: I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, and this is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist.
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent.