Frasier Quote #2860

Quote from Frasier in Deathtrap

Frasier: Oh my God, Niles! Look...
Niles: Don't give it to me. Is that real?
Frasier: It certainly feels real.
Niles: Well, what's it doing under the floor?
Frasier: How the hell should I know? I wonder who it could be?
Niles: Well, perhaps it's a builder who got trapped during construction, or a, an exterminator who was overcome with fumes.
Frasier: Excellent hypotheses, Niles. But unfortunately, neither is plausible.
Niles: Why not?
Frasier: Because, Niles, when you die, your head doesn't pop off like a champagne cork. It remains attached to the spine.

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 ‘Deathtrap’ Quotes

Quote from Daphne

Frasier: You know, Niles, we could open it up to the general public.
Niles: That's not a bad idea. A warm bed.
Frasier: A freshly-baked scone.
Niles: For a moderate fee...
Frasier: It could pay for itself.
Niles: As a B & B!
Daphne: If you two break into song, I'm leaving.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: I used to have the same problem when I was raising show rats.
Niles: You don't mean the nasty, plague-propagating vermin, do you?
Daphne: No. I mean purebred rats. As in Siamese or Himalayan or Husky. My most prized one was an Andalusian Blue named Lady Prissy and she wasn't sick a day in her life. So don't go blaming all rats because of a few bad apples.
Frasier: A few bad apples? Daphne, they spread a disease that nearly wiped out half the population of Europe.
Daphne: Shows what you know. Those were common European brown rats.
Frasier: Yes, but the point is-
Daphne: Oh, no, no, no. I'll sit here and listen to you prattle on about wine and opera. But when it comes to rats, you're in my house.

Quote from Niles

Martin: Oh boy, this brings back memories.
Frasier: Oh Niles, do you remember doing our homework up here at the dining room table?
Niles: Oh yes, and afternoon piano lessons.
Martin: Getting haircuts from your mother.
Frasier: And Mom's roll-top desk on this wall over here.
Niles: Where we wrote all the "Crane Boys Mysteries." I can still see you pacing in your writer's tweeds and half-glasses, dictating.
Frasier: And you in your shawl-collar sweater, hammering away at the keys of that old Royal typewriter.
Niles: Gosh, when did those two crazy kids become such a pair of old fuddy-duddies?