Simon: Oh, don't worry, Mum. Everything will be all right when we get home.
Gertrude: Well, what's left for me there? An empty house full of memories? No, I'd rather stay right here in the company of my babies. Thank goodness I have my children to lean upon.
Simon: Oh, don't cry, Mum. I really thought this junket to America would cheer you up.
Niles: Oh, well, it still can. Go away. I mean, get out there and see the country.
Frasier: Yes, that is a splendid idea. This land is rich with snow-covered mountains, sun-kissed beaches, wild, untamed rivers, and a warm, loving people ready to embrace you. Immerse yourself in the spectacle and the grandeur that are these United States, this America.
[An American flag is suddenly draped down across Frasier's entire balcony window]
Niles: How did you do that?
Frasier: [gasps] Cam Winston!

Frasier: Good afternoon again, Cam.
Cam: Listen, Crane, you may have bamboozled the condo board, but we both know you just want more room to swing your fat ass into that BMW.
Frasier: Cam, if there is any benefit to me, it is the cleaner air which we will all now breathe.
Cam: Oh, get off your high horse. You do your share of polluting with that substitute for masculinity you're driving.
Frasier: If mine's a substitute for masculinity, then what is yours?
Cam: Bigger.

Simon: Shouldn't we stop at the supermarket on the way home? I'm very fond of those ham-and-cheese Hot Pockets that you had last year.
Martin: Oh, I keep those stocked. Everything's just like you remember.
Frasier: Well, there has been one small change. The liquor cabinet has a lock.
Simon: Yeah. Well, my new moped had a lock, too. Ha-ha!