Martin: You know that guy, Roger, on fourteen, has that little Scottish Terrier?
Frasier: MacDuff?
Martin: Right. Well, Roger's invited all these dogs from the park to a party, for MacDuff's birthday. Except Eddie, thank God. Have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous?
Frasier: I see. And putting a hat on Eddie, for every major holiday, that's normal?
Martin: Well, it's not every holiday.
Frasier: Oh, Dad, please. He's got a Santa cap for Christmas, he's got a top hat for New Year's Eve, he's got a tam o'shanter for St. Patrick's day...
Martin: Well, they're just hats. I mean, it's not a whole party. I mean, a dog doesn't know it's his birthday any more than he knows it's Friday or Saturday or...
Frasier: Or Cinco de Mayo?
Martin: That sombrero was a gift.

Martin: It's nice you're helping the kid out.
Frasier: Yeah, well, truth be told, Dad, I'm actually... I've made a little agreement with Lana. You see, if I help Kirby get a passing grade, Lana will set me up with one of her girlfriends, Claire.
Martin: Oh. I remember when you used to tutor kids so they wouldn't beat you up. So I guess this is progress, huh?

Roz: Hey, Frasier. I have a work-related proposal I want to run by you.
Frasier: Well, Roz, I'm always open to new ideas. Creative thoughts, outside-the-box thinking, that sort of thing.
Roz: I want Friday the fifteenth off. But be aware, if you say "No," you'll be crushing a dream I've had since college.
Frasier: A three-day weekend, that's quite a dream.
Roz: My dream is to have front row seats at Bruce Springsteen. That way, when he starts doing "Dancing in the Dark", there's a chance he'll pull me up on stage with him.
Frasier: I see. And this concert is on a Friday afternoon?
Roz: No, grandpa. The tickets go on sale Saturday and I want to be the first in line.
Frasier: Ah. Well, if you hadn't called me "grandpa," I would have found a polite way to no. But as it is, no.
Roz: I can't believe I didn't just call in sick instead of telling you the truth. I just wasted perfectly good honesty on you.