TV Quotes

Frasier: Welcome to "The Wine Corner." I hope you're as excited about this new program as I am. I offer myself as sherpa, a guide, if you will, to lead you through the labyrinth of vintages and wine lists, chateaus and bodegas, and take you hopefully to a whole new level of sophistication...
[later:]
Frasier: In summary, Linda, the year listed on the bottle is not an expiration date. So that wine from 1997 should be perfectly safe to drink.

Frasier: I wonder what they're doing at the wine club right now.
Martin: Oh, jeez. Are you gonna do this all night?
Frasier: No, no, Dad, you're right, I'm sorry. It's just that I hate to see a once-proud institution making so many foolish mistakes.
Martin: Well, if it makes you feel any better, the club'll probably fail without you. It'll be no fun. All the members'll resign. This time next month, they'll probably have torn the building down.
Frasier: I never know when you're being facetious.
Martin: Yeah, you do.

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!