Frasier: All right, if you must know, I'm just about to leave for something called a "speed date."
Roz: What's a speed date?
Frasier: Well, apparently it's the latest thing. Twelve men and twelve women get together in a room. They spend eight minutes talking to one other and then move on to the next person after a bell rings. Basically, it's all the stress and humiliation of a blind date times twelve.

Frasier: I'm just so tired of being surrounded by happy couples, I just thought I should do something a bit more proactive.
Roz: You wouldn't be talking about Niles and Daphne, would you?
Frasier: Oh, among others. Believe me, no one could be happier for Niles than I, but there are days when his lovesick swain act wears the tiniest bit thin.
[Niles enters wearing a white t-shirt which features a heart-shaped image of him and Daphne]
Niles: Hello, all. Notice anything different?
Roz: I like it.
Niles: Thank you. I've never worn an undergarment in public before.

Radio Announcer: We now return to a repeat broadcast of "The Best of Crane". Please do not call in.
Frasier: [on the radio] Before the break we were talking to Phil, who's having trouble getting over a relationship. Phil, if you're listening, it might help to keep in mind the old adage: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Frasier: I do make a good point.
[Slide to Universe #2:]
Frasier: What a load of crap.