Frasier: Gee, Niles, you seem a little cranky.
Niles: Well, perhaps that's because I was rousted out of a warm bed at the crack of dawn and herded onto a Winnebago!

Frasier: What exactly are we going to do tomorrow night? Every restaurant in town worth going to has been booked for months.
Martin: Well, you know, you can join me and the boys at McGinty's. It's going to be a lot of fun. They're going to dye the beer green.
Niles: Why would you do that on New Year's Eve?
Martin: Oh well, McGinty's going in for a bypass next month and he's afraid he might not make it out for St. Paddy's Day.
Niles: This is a disaster.
Martin: No, they'll just pop in another pig valve. You know, the only reason he needs it is because he eats so much bacon. So, the same thing that's killing him is keeping him alive. [chuckles] There's your O. Henry story.

Niles: Cancel the Millennium! Chez Henri has burned down!
Frasier: Burned down?
Niles: Yes! Apparently, Henri was caramelizing a huge creme brulee in the shape of Puget Sound, when a sugar spark ignited a thirty-foot paper maché "Space Needle." They're already calling it the worst centerpiece disaster in the history of Seattle.
Frasier: Henri built his reputation with that caramelizing torch. My God, the irony of him burning down his own restaurant with it. It's worthy of O. Henry.
Niles: Oh! Henri. [laughs]
Frasier: Please, Niles, it's too soon to joke.