Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello?
Carlos: [v.o] Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Yes, who's this?
Carlos: Dr. Kaufmann. Bob Kaufmann of the National Psychotherapy Institute. Oh, my gosh, it's six-fifteen in the morning your time. I hope I didn't wake you.
Frasier: No, no, I was up. Uh, where did you say you were calling from?
Carlos: The National Psychotherapy Institute in Saddle River, New Jersey.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. What can I do for you?
Carlos: Oh, for Pete's sake. No one called you? You won our Radio Therapist of the Year Award. Congratulations.
Frasier: ... Well, thank you. Of course, the work itself is honor enough.
Carlos: Thank you. And I'm sorry about the mix-up. The problem is we're going to need some pictures of you so we can get started on the statue.
Frasier: Statue?
Carlos: For our Hall of Thinkers. Angie, he never got the packet!
Frasier: Is there anything I can do?
Carlos: Well, it's a little late now. But maybe if you describe your body we could get started on the preliminary carving. The sculptor's right here. Fortunately, we got Herr Gustav Brumholt.
Frasier: Oh, my.
Chicken: [in a German accent] Ja, ja, Dr. Crane, please, ja?
Frasier: Yes, yes, this is Dr. Crane speaking. Herr Brumholt, may I say, it's quite an honor.
Chicken: Ja, ja, ja. We have your face, very handsome, but I need you to describe your body.
Frasier: Yes, of course. Uh. Six foot one, medium build, broad shoulders, sublimely proportioned...
Chicken: Ja, das gut, ja. But before I order my marble I need you to describe your, um, how do I say this, your, where you sit? Ja?
Frasier: Oh, my posterior, yeah well, that's a little sensitive, isn't it? [laughs]
Chicken: Oh, you don't want to tell me, I understand, it's a big one.
Frasier: No, no, no. I didn't say that.
Chicken: Angie, order the big marble, please. Ja?
Frasier: Would you please put Dr. Kaufmann back on?
Chicken: No, I have a better idea. Why don't you send us a picture of [dropping accent] your immense hindquarters and send it into KACL's new morning team...
Carlos & the Chicken: Carlos And The Chicken!

Daphne: Dr. Crane, how do you know it's time to have your crepe pans re-seasoned, anyway?
Niles: It can be confusing. But this may help: "Saucepans in summer, crepe pans in fall, when winter's upon us, there's food for us all."

Niles: Frasier, what do you put in your bath water?
Frasier: You know very well it's a proprietary blend, Niles.
Niles: No, no, no. It's your super. There's something corroding the pipes in the unit below you. He thinks it may be something in your tub.
Frasier: [on the phone] Hello, yes, I'm sure it's not my fault but if you insist, I use... [waits for Niles to exit] ...jasmine, lavender, rose hips and a little Tahitian Vanilla.
Chicken: Yeah, well, that sounds okay. Boy, with a bath like that I bet the ladies sure go for you though, huh?
Frasier: Yes, well, love does enter through the nose.
Chicken: Hey, you know, the neighbors down here have been complaining about a little sound bleed-through. I think we got a bad tile. I sure would like to check it. I heard you sing into the phone earlier. You think you could, I don't know, do it again?
Frasier: All right. [Frasier starts singing "I'm in the Mood for Love" again]