Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello?
Carlos: [v.o] Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Yes, who's this?
Carlos: Dr. Kaufmann. Bob Kaufmann of the National Psychotherapy Institute. Oh, my gosh, it's six-fifteen in the morning your time. I hope I didn't wake you.
Frasier: No, no, I was up. Uh, where did you say you were calling from?
Carlos: The National Psychotherapy Institute in Saddle River, New Jersey.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. What can I do for you?
Carlos: Oh, for Pete's sake. No one called you? You won our Radio Therapist of the Year Award. Congratulations.
Frasier: ... Well, thank you. Of course, the work itself is honor enough.
Carlos: Thank you. And I'm sorry about the mix-up. The problem is we're going to need some pictures of you so we can get started on the statue.
Frasier: Statue?
Carlos: For our Hall of Thinkers. Angie, he never got the packet!
Frasier: Is there anything I can do?
Carlos: Well, it's a little late now. But maybe if you describe your body we could get started on the preliminary carving. The sculptor's right here. Fortunately, we got Herr Gustav Brumholt.
Frasier: Oh, my.
Chicken: [in a German accent] Ja, ja, Dr. Crane, please, ja?
Frasier: Yes, yes, this is Dr. Crane speaking. Herr Brumholt, may I say, it's quite an honor.
Chicken: Ja, ja, ja. We have your face, very handsome, but I need you to describe your body.
Frasier: Yes, of course. Uh. Six foot one, medium build, broad shoulders, sublimely proportioned...
Chicken: Ja, das gut, ja. But before I order my marble I need you to describe your, um, how do I say this, your, where you sit? Ja?
Frasier: Oh, my posterior, yeah well, that's a little sensitive, isn't it? [laughs]
Chicken: Oh, you don't want to tell me, I understand, it's a big one.
Frasier: No, no, no. I didn't say that.
Chicken: Angie, order the big marble, please. Ja?
Frasier: Would you please put Dr. Kaufmann back on?
Chicken: No, I have a better idea. Why don't you send us a picture of [dropping accent] your immense hindquarters and send it into KACL's new morning team...
Carlos & the Chicken: Carlos And The Chicken!

Daphne: Dr. Crane, how do you know it's time to have your crepe pans re-seasoned, anyway?
Niles: It can be confusing. But this may help: "Saucepans in summer, crepe pans in fall, when winter's upon us, there's food for us all."

Frasier: Chicken, I believe it was La Rochéfoucauld, the great French thinker.
Chicken: Would you just give it a rest, double-wide? I went to grad school, too. And P.S., it's pronounced "La Rochéfoucald."
Frasier: That's it! Nobody corrects my French pronunciation, you son of a ...!