Roz: Hasn't he found a place yet?
Frasier: No, no. He's sublet his apartment at the Montana. He has to find something furnished. There just aren't many out there. Still, he's looking every day.
Roz: Not yesterday.
Frasier: What do you mean?
Roz: I saw him outside the Varsity waiting in line for "Lawrence Of Arabia."
Frasier: Well, that's impossible, he told me he had appointments all day.
Roz: Frasier, I know Niles when I see him. How often do people go to the movies with their own seat cushion?

Daphne: Where's my jar of Bovril?
Niles: No, I wasn't. ... Oh, the meat paste. Well, I threw it out, it smelled rancid.
Daphne: Well, that's how it's supposed to smell. It's English.

Martin: Niles, are you there?
Niles: [into intercom] Yes, Dad. [to Frasier] You can't blame me for the housing market. This is a simple apartment!
Martin: I'm in some room with a lot of books but it doesn't have a bathroom.
Niles: Oh, that's the library, not the study. Go down the hall, make a left.
Frasier: Well, this simple apartment of yours is going to bankrupt you. You must admit it's a bit large for one person.
Niles: Oh, don't forget I have a pet.
Frasier: Are you telling my that your bird requires both a study and a library?
Niles: All right, I will return the Noel Coward pen, but this is my home. This is a basic necessity.
Martin: [on intercom] Okay, I've found the aspirin but I'm lost again. I'm in a blue room with big rolls of paper.
Niles: That's the gift wrapping room. Look for the stairs.
Martin: The only stairs I can find go up.
Frasier: You have a third floor?
Niles: It's practically a crawl space. [into intercom] Go out the door to the left. [to Frasier] Don't look at me like that. I have to have a roof over my head.
Frasier: Niles, you have three roofs over your head.