TV Quotes

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Daphne: You know, when I was younger I dreamed of being a ballerina myself.
Niles: So did Maris. But the poor thing could never get her weight up enough.

Roz: Oh, my God. You have two women?
Frasier: At least.
Roz: And you're juggling them? And you're getting jewelry?
Frasier: Why is that so hard to believe?
Roz: Well, I guess since they cloned that sheep, anything's possible.

Martin: You know, maybe it's that Sonia woman he was going out with.
Daphne: Wasn't there a sister, too?
Martin: And a niece!
Niles: Oh, yes, he went through that family like a recessive gene.

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

Frasier: I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, and this is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist.
Niles: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent.