Niles Quote #1073
Niles: Actually, yes, I do know a thing or two about the spark of attraction.
Frasier: [to waiter] Oh, excuse me, may I have non-fat cappuccino, please? [to Niles] Well, what am I to deduce, that you've recently gotten lucky?
Niles: Yes. And here's the kicker: she lives in your building. Five floors down, Allison Landis.
Frasier: Well, you little sneak. I don't even know the woman. How did you two meet?
Niles: Well, we were just chatting on the elevator. I walked her to her car, where it turned out she'd locked her keys inside. My resourcefulness saved the day.
Frasier: What did you do, fish them out with a coat hanger?
Niles: No, I called the auto club. Where would I find a coat hanger?
Quote from Frasier
Tricia: I thought I'd find us a little background music.
Frasier: Good idea. Looking for some more opera?
Tricia: Heck, no. The one the other night was my first and last. I was dragged to it by one of my converts. [She stops on a country music station.] There we go.
Frasier: Converts, you say?
Tricia: Mm-hmm. I'm one of the Truth bringers. I was ordained by Brother Carmichael himself, the evangelist. I go door to door, spreading his word. Listen, do you mind my asking something? Have you heard the Truth?
Frasier: Something tells me I'm about to.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Dad, look, you know, I really don't feel like going out on my birthday this year.
Martin: are you sure?
Frasier: Yes, I actually had made plans already. I was gonna stay home and watch television. The opera is mounting a new production of "Cosi van Tutti."
Martin: Oh, well no wonder then. Well, okay, but you're missing a real treat. Duke said in the finalé, the whole cast skates to the top of this ramp, then splat! Right into a tank of whipped cream. Bet they don't do that at your opera.
Frasier: No. And Mozart's still kicking himself.
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.