TV Quotes

Frasier: Daphne... is cooking dinner... for your date with a fictitious woman. Why not just set a place for the March Hare and the Mad Hatter?

Frasier: It's a minefield out there. Everywhere I go, people are talking about the mini-series I've been watching.
Roz: Oh, yeah. Did you see the ending last night? When that...
Frasier: Bup, bup, bup, bup. I attended a benefit last night. I had to tape it, and I have yet to see it.
Roz: Oh, well who would have thought it? Mr. PBS watching a trashy mini-series.
Frasier: I don't think it's trashy at all. In fact, I think the intricacies of the plot are downright Dickensian.
Roz: Yeah, Angie Dickensian.

Daphne: This whole thing reminds me of when I first moved to London. I was very mistrusting of people back then. I was convinced the way to stay out of harm's way was to walk straight with me eyes cast down, never meeting anyone's glance. But finally, I decided that was no way to live. So one day, I just lifted up me chin and took it all in. Well, the change was amazing. There were sights I'd never seen, sounds I'd never heard. A tiny old man came up to me with a note in his hand. He needed help. I realized this was no city full of thieves and muggers. There were people here who needed me. I took his note, read it, and to this day, I can remember just what I said to that man. "That's not how you spell fellatio."

[After the doorbell rings, Frasier opens the door to Daphne, who struggles to drag Eddie into the apartment]
Daphne: Come on, Eddie. Come on.
Frasier: What's the matter?
Daphne: He was perfectly fine until a block from here. Then he started whining and trembling, like he senses an earthquake or a dark force or - Hello, Lilith - a vortex of evil.