TV Quotes

Roz: Niles! Every time I give you my chair, you wipe it off first. It's just insulting.
Niles: For your information, I was reaching for my cell phone.
Roz: Oh. I'm sorry, Niles. I stepped out of line. See you later, Frasier. [Roz leaves]
Frasier: Bye bye, Roz.
Waiter: [answering the phone] Café Nervosa.
Niles: [on the phone] Yes, this is Dr. Crane at Table Seven. Could you send someone over to dust off my chair?
Frasier: Oh, for God's sake! I'll do it!

Frasier: A martini, then?
Caitlin: I cut out alcohol last year, along with processed sugar, dairy products and meat. Oh, I hope I'm not screwing up your menu. What are you serving?
Frasier: Well, so far, parsley and curvy orange slices.

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.