Frasier Quote #1452

Quote from Frasier in Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name

Niles: No, it was my antiques scout. The present I ordered for Maris's birthday has finally arrived. I got her the most exquisite antique saddle.
Frasier: Oh. How does it look on you?
Niles: You won't laugh when you see it. It is bejeweled but not overdone, much like my Maris. The craftsmanship is breathtaking. It's been so expertly restored you can barely see the stitching.
Frasier: Again, like Maris.


Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.

‘The Maris Crane Files’

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner

Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.

 ‘Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name’ Quotes

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: I am so sorry, Daphne. Now all I have to do is make this relatively simple shot, unless of course you'd like to concede defeat.
Daphne: Oh, that's typical American arrogance. We Brits don't know the meaning of the word "defeat".
Frasier: Oh, really, then I suppose you're not acquainted with a little spat we refer to as the Revolutionary War. Out of my way.
Daphne: Oh, just like a Yank. Insulting us Brits to cover up your inferiority complex.
Frasier: What exactly should we feel inferior about, your pioneering work in the field of soccer hooliganism? [laughs]
Daphne: Oh, say your worst .We both know there isn't as much dignity in this entire country as our Queen's got in her littlefinger.
Frasier: Oh, yes, you've really bested me there. What could be more dignified than a dowdy old sandbag who wears a flowerpot on her head. I win. The bar is mine. [Frasier turns around to see the British clientele stood menacingly behind him] Oh, lose the long faces, lads, I'm staying. Oh, good Lord, I hope you didn't take those little barbs about the motherland seriously.
Terrence: Perhaps you'd better leave now.
Frasier: Oh, Daphne'll tell you there's no greater Anglophile than I. I have all my suits made at Savile Row. You know, I spell "colour" with a "u!"

Quote from Niles

Niles: I gave Maris her birthday saddle. She was so thrilled she treated me to a little Lady Godiva impression.
Frasier: Oh, my.
Niles: Apparently, the oils in the saddle reacted badly with her cellulite cream and created a powerful epoxy.
Frasier: Oh, dear.
Niles: Yes, it took an hour and a full bottle of nail polish remover to get her free. Today, her poor little thighs were so sore the only way she could find comfort was to straddle a frozen butterball turkey.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: Well, look at that, it's all tied up.
Frasier: Yes, who would have guessed those hands are so skilled. Certainly no one who's sampled your corned beef hash. Ha. I score again!
Daphne: That's not something we hear out of your mouth very often.