Niles: How do you expect me to get up there?
Doris: Well, you can climb up the tree.
Niles: Oh, come on.
Doris: Well, surely you climbed plenty of trees when you were a boy.
Jane: That's Dr. Crane's brother.
Albert & Doris: Oh.

Niles: Sometimes the note sees the attack coming and retreats.

Frasier: You're not going to drink that that way, are you?
Martin: Why?
Frasier: My Goodness, the first mistake in eggnog preparation is failing to garnish it properly with a dash of nutmeg. There we are.
Martin: [Martin takes a sip] Oh! Oh! Oh! [He walks over to the sink and spits it out]
Frasier: Of course, the second mistake is placing the paprika next to the nutmeg on the spice shelf.