Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.

Frasier: Niles. Niles, what happened? Was that Maris I saw running out of here?
Niles: Yes. She saw Mimi pawing me and assumed the worst. I've got to go speak to her. How upset did she look?
Roz: Oh, I couldn't see anything past the outfit. Who wears a black dress and veil on a cruise?
Frasier: Roz, the woman has virtually no pigmentation. Three minutes in the sun, she'd sear like an ahi tuna!

Frasier: I thought you were preparing an anniversary dinner for Maris.
Niles: Uh, not this year. Maris has chosen to fly off to a clinic in the Alps for an experimental rejuvenation treatment. Only one man performs the procedure and she wants to see him before he's extradited.

Frasier: Oh, hello, Daphne. You're looking very comfortable for afternoon.
Daphne: I just love days like this. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, though I have a nagging suspicion I've forgotten something.
Frasier: Like getting dressed?
Daphne: Oh, I could just watch the rain all day. Of course, when I was a little girl, I hated the rain. Stuck inside, couldn't go out and play. But my mum would always says, "Enjoy it while you can, there'll be no water in hell." Of course, that was her answer for everything. "Eat your veggies, there'll be no Brussels sprouts in hell. Have a lie-down, there'll be no naps in hell."
Frasier: Daphne, I am a therapist, if you'd like to talk about this sometime.
Daphne: About what?